Well hello people! How in the heck are you all after this glorious summer(NOT!)? Holy crap my 3 to 4 months break turned into 7 plus months. Holy Crap! Its almost Winter. Did you have a great summer? Were you well behaved? Did you drink to much and fall in your sister-in-laws pool or worst knock your mother-in-law in? Go for a pee in a poison ivy bush? Throw-up at your cousins wedding? Get caught fooling around in your neighbours spa? Play naked volleyball? Wake up in a strange bed in a strange house with someone who's name just escaped you? Huuummmmm. End up starting up a relationship with someone only to find out you were just some BET? Well I would like to say I did at least some of the above but unfortunately i did not. Summer this year consisted of two things for me, work and cursing at the bad weather. Is it just me or is there something wrong with the word, "warming" in "global warming", because if this is some scientists idea of warming I'd like to have back what we had before the whole, "the earth is dying", "inconvenient truth" era, blah..blah..blah. This summer did have some highlights and some low lights. Some moving moments and some truly screwed up moments. I am happy to be back behind the keyboard and look forward to the next 6 to 8 months trying to entertain you in some small way with somethingaboutnothing. So here is some commentary and thoughts since my last blog in May.
* Obama,Obama,Obama. Why am i starting to have flashbacks to the Jimmy Carter era? My greatest fear (after i got over not believing Americans would actually elect you) was what would you do after you got elected. I mean talk about great expectations and delivering the goods on all those stump speeches. Inheriting a dying (dead) economy, a totally screwed up and non existent foreign policy (well if you don't include water boarding), two wars (ok ok ok fighting a bunch of scarf wearing road side bombing insurgents (where did the word insurgents come from anyways?) doesn't really qualify as war but just the same. You sure set the bar high on the expectations and unfortunately your not quite exceeding or for that fact meeting them. The whole health care debate issue should have been left for after the jobs started to come back, the banks had credit to lend, your exit strategy in Iraq was in full application and you had brought some sort of stability to your national foreign policy. Unfortunately back in January i wrote a blog talking about how i feared you sounded like the new leader of a company brought in to re-engineer things with a large group of "advisers". Who then proceed to take 6 months to decide if the woman and mens Bathroom doors should be painted blue and pink. On a scale of 1 to 10 on living up to expectations (the ones you created) Barrack i have to give you a 4. I'm still in your corner man but please do something to change the direction and i don't mean sitting down for a beer with an elitist black professor and a every Saturday afternoon beer and barbecue cop. That just isn't going to avoid you being a one term President, Mr. President.
H1N1 VIRUS, yes my friends if you like many others have spent a whole lot of wasted time worrying about the axis of evil, the terrorists, midget North Koreans, holocaust denying Iranians, run away asteroids, natural resources cannibal China, etc.. Let it go because the most likely catastophic planet (or should i say human) killer will most likely come in the form of a super virus or super bug which we will have no capacity to defend against. If you look at the last few years and reflect on SARS, Avian, Swine, Pavro and H1N1; the idications are pretty clear that planes, box cutters and scarf wearing insurgents are the least of our worries. I`m Not qualified to comment further about the true capacity for all of humanity to be wiped off the face of the planet i will simply say the writing is on the..cough,cough,cough...never mind I think i have a fever!
What the hell is up with Canadian politics? Ha fooled you. Nothing is up with Canadian politics its the same old boring useless crap its always been. One note though. If you have a chance check out the secretly (yeah right) filmed speech on you tube given by our tight ass reformist/conservative leader. If you want to see who is really leading this country take a look. You get to see the true color of blue or in fact redneck. Then again we don't have any choices to turn to. Do we? We have Michael Igna... (shit i can't even be bothered to spell his name) and we have Jack ''i never met a camera i didn't like'' Layton. I mean common people is it just me or is this a joke. Its funny how no one takes us seriously.
Ok i couldn't pass up the chance to bitch about the weather. I mean common...we spend 8 months of the year wrapped in a variety of animal skins to keep us warm. All in the eternal hope for those 4 months (which are in fact 3, you can't really count May). What in the hell is going on? Did Mother nature get dumped? Did she have a mid life crisis in the midst of our lives? I got sick and tired of the weather forecasters talking about how it, really wasn't that bad". Tell me people, what profession do you know of where you can actually be wrong like 50 to 75% of the time and still keep your job? I can tell you. A meteorologist (they like to be called that instead of the weather man or woman). You know what? If you have "ologist" at the end of your professions name you need to be right more then 25% of the time. I mean imagine going to your gynecologist; being told your pregnant and it being only 25% accurate, yeah you'd be going back to that "ologist" often wouldn't you? Didn't think so! Ok so i regress let me get back to my original thought. I got tired of all the meteorologist bullcrap so I wrote down every day this summer where the daytime temperature exceeded 30 degrees (in my area). You see this year, back in April the meteorologists forecast the East of the country to have above normal temperatures with below average rain fall according to the "ologists". Well friends in my wonderful summer i recorded 6 days from June 15th to September 15 where the temp was 30 or above. That's 6 days! That's a friggin menstrual cycle in a 3 month period (wait that didn't come out right) anyways you get what I'm saying. It rained 17 out of 31 days in July..thats below normal percipitation? The summer SUCKED! Can we have back the time before global warming please! And Mother nature were really sorry that you got cheated on but please take it out on someone else or for that matter somewhere else.
BRIEF POINTS:
* Were losing to many young women and men in Afganisthan
* Welcome back the GP in Montreal in 2010...yeah baby!
* Someone please tell Quebec politicians we really don`t give a shit!
* Is Hillary Clinton a woman?
* Calling the President a liar is probably not good for your career
* Calling our prime Minister a ''kentucky fried chicken eating lip face'' is probably good for a laugh.
* Kanye West needs a copy of ''How not to be a dumb ass, lack of respect, rapping asshole For Dummies'' book.
POP IS DEAD, POP IS DEAD...for god sakes Pop died somewhere between 1988 and 1992 depends on who you listen to (literally). Well according to some it died for real this time in mid June with the untimely passing of Michael Jackson. Shit i though he died in the Thriller video back in 1984. Man am i out of date with things! My commentary on this one will be brief ( i promise) I used to think the King of Pop was all the shit. I idolized him until the nasty little bed time stories started to surface at which point i could not, regardless of his talent, continue to be a fan. I can tolerate just about anything but child abusers and women abusers just do not get anything from me but my disgust and a daunting desire to crush their skulls. Yes yes yes i know what some of you are going to say, "he was never found guilty of anything". No, but you know what? 25 million dollars, multiple accusations and a refusal to change your questionable behavior earns you a one way ticket to, GUILTY! Then there is the whole Jackson Family. If the word dysfunctional ever applied it certainly applies here. I mean for God sakes Joe Jackson, he was a child abuser himself and a woman abuser, and now Michael`s children are living in his home (there is some irony there somwhere). The sisters look like something that survived the thriller video, and if Jermaine puts anymore oil in his hair the US Energy Department is going to set up an oil rig on his head...oh and please lets not get started on Tito..what the hell kind of name is that anyways? Did the Jacksons want a Dog and instead got a son and gave it its name. When i look at the Jackson family it gives me hope for every messed up family i know.
MY SPORTS ROUND UP from the summer goes something like this: No major for Tiger, poor Winnie the Pooh. Pittsburgh wins the lords cup, i can live with that..not like the Habs were going to win it...get used to it cause it isn't happening this year either. The Habs get sold..thank God..lets hope the Molson brothers can turn back time. Unfortunately they can't turn back the experiment Gainey decided to try out. Serena Williams mouth...holy potty mouth...Serena and Mother nature have something in common and it starts with 28 day cycle. Looks like Yankees in another world series match up only to win. Best part of the series was the performance of Alicia and Jay-Z with ''empire state of mind'' that is on awesome tune.Holy US open Tennis upset...Roger is getting older and its starting to show. NFL season looks promising perhaps atleast 6 legitimate super bowl contenders. Michael Jordan is an ass...he shows how sportsmanship should not work...hey Michael that chip on your shoulder looks like a battery. Speaking of sportsmanship...Could someone throw Gary Bettman off a cliff...I've already started laughing at the Leafs for this year...i'd love to see an NHL team in Hamilton...The AL's will fail in the playoffs..AGAIN! Watch out for flying car parts if you drive in Formula 1, Watch out for flying cars if you drive in NASCAR. Can you say FAST as in Usain Bolt Fast.
Well friends that just about brings me back up to date on the last 7 months i've been away. As for me i plan to add an article every week, my life is going fairly well, my new job has been going so, so, the economy is not doing what is needed to get things moving, my children are doing well, my Daughter started CEGEP and is now on her own living with her room mate in an Apartment in the city (holy crap i'm old!). I am still madly in love with a beautiful creature of a woman who is helping me change my life. I'm still working on fixing mistakes from the past and trying hard to make things right. Its not easy as my mess ups were big and hurtful to many. I still have alot of work to do.
I look forward to writing for you. Hope you had an excellent summer and here comes winter...AGAIN!
Robbie
