* IN HER EYES- DANS SES YEUX

Avez-vous jamais regardé dans des yeux de quelqu'un ? Sûr vous avez. Mais avez-vous jamais été ainsi embelli dans quelqu'un qui quand vous regardez dans leurs yeux vous voient un "Jardin Secret" Caché là-bas. La chose fascinante au sujet de voir « au delà » de ce. Ces ce rend compte juste comment fragile nous pouvons être face à l'amour. Ce Blog est principalement visé à mes amie masculines de lecture mais je pense que les femmes pourraient et agreablement surprise aussi. Dans mon esprit, Springsteen l'a capturé étonnamment avec le lyrique suivant ;




You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where you can't remember
And you can't forget

She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
She'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away

Ces mots symbolisent juste comment profondément nous pouvons obtenir et à quelle distance nous pouvons tomber dans quelqu'un donné la bonne situation. Quelle est exactement la bonne situation ? Le puits ici est le pulseur, vous n'aller savoir jusqu'à votre droite devant elle, transfixed, regardant dans ces yeux. Quel à ce point votre aller être l'une de trois choses. D'abord, votre l'un ou l'autre allant déjà être dans si profond que votre fait et n'importe quelle tentative d'évasion est futile. En second lieu, votre aller être ainsi sali vers le haut par ce que votre expérience que vos mécanismes de défense sont dans la haute vitesse et votre recherche d'une chute en arrière placent. Troisièmement, votre fonctionnement pendant votre vie. La plupart d'entre nous qui ont été dans la situation décris peut certifier au peur d'être en la deuxième position. Le premier est relativement simple et il devient injustifié de discuter. La seule chose qui peut se produire est celui qui le temps aille s'occuper vous. Le tiers est bien, joli descriptif comme la plupart d'entre nous (des mâles) est très bonne. à d'abord fonctionnant… ouais. De nouveau à la seconde. Celui-ci est une montagne russe sérieuse des émotions.

Quand vous et dans quelqu'un ci profondément que cela vous fait perdres dans son « jardin secret » puis je peux te dire que le niveau de la crainte que vous éprouverez pourrait se ranger vers le haut là avec te faire donner un coup de pied votre âne par la Mini Souris devant un couple d'un millier de personnes dans le Parc de Disney. Il n'est pas joli. Mon avis au sujet de la façon dont ceci nous effectue change de la catégorie d'âge à la catégorie d'âge. Avec tout le respect dû à mes plus jeunes lecteurs (je t'aime types) quand vous êtes dans vos années de l'adolescence en retard jusqu'à votre milieu des années 20 il y a répartissent vous conduire moins dont est du jardin secret d'une femme « secret » de non et efficacement " audacieux JE NE SUIS PAS parlant que le jardin obtiennent ainsi vos têtes hors de la gouttière. Voyez que je vous ai dit à votre âge que vous ne pouvez pas penser directement). Ma croyance est que tu doivent être au moins 26 et plus vieux (parfois beaucoup plus vieux pour ceux qui refusent de grandir) et tu doivent avoir eu au moins 1 rapport que vous pouvez décrire comme avoir été importants... importants, oui importants est relatif… mais si vous pouvez dire que vous avez vraiment aimé quelqu'un avant, alors vous soyez probablement en position à effectuer sensiblement le jour où vous rencontrez une femme, regardez dans elle des yeux et voyez son « jardin secret ».

Maintenant que nous avons établi cela. Quel prochain ? Que faites-vous ? Ahhh. . vous pensez que j'allais réellement distribuer le conseil sur cette matière. Ha ! NON ! mais ce que je ferai doit vous dire que je vis cette expérience en ce moment et je suis effrayé enormenment (oui je vien indiqué un mauvais mot et oui macho j'ai juste admis que j'ai peur d'une femme). Ma crainte provient d'une variété de secteurs. D'abord, je n'ai pas apprécié un bon rapport symbiotique avec ma mère (grève une sur des femmes). J'ai eu deux rapports échoués (les sérieux comportant la création de beaux enfants) et oui pour mémoire la chose qui a fini ces rapports était mon manque d'intégrité et honneur auxquels je parle en faveur entièrement coupable et j'accepte TOUTE responsabilité de. J'ai eu un autre rapport important dans l'intervalle et ai été trompé pour découvrir que je simplement étais tiré profit. Ce que par certains côtés j'ai mérité donné ma conduite précédente de rapport… si bonne sur elle pour obtenir un couple des projectiles dedans sur moi. Ainsi de nouveau au ici et maintenant et à trembler sous les draps à la pensée des sentiments je prends pour cette femme et l'effet qu'elle a sur moi.

Je dirai que je n'ai jamais été un grand croyant dans le destin ou le célèbre, l'amour a premiere vue.Je sais qu'il y a de la chimie qui se produit entre deux personnes et qu'elle peut souvent des périodes être volatile, imprévisible et absolument hypnotisante. J'avais l'habitude de penser que l'amour a pris du temps de se développer, cela oui vous pouvez être attiré physiquement à quelqu'un et le temps d'excédent développent un amour fort pour eux. Mon sentiment cependant tordu, est que la plupart d'amour commence par l'attraction physique et puis se développe à l'extérieur. Dans le cas particulier je suis vivant moi, je sais qu'il y avait une attraction physique forte, elle est tres belle, mais elle a été immédiatement remplacée par une attraction « totale ». Sa intellect, caractère, crainte, fascination, respect, et d'une manière plus importante quelque chose que je ne peux pas expliquer ni volonté impliquée que j'essaye aussi. Les la plupart que je peux dire sont celle quand vous et dedans vous et dedans et profondément. J'essaye actuellement de me dire chaque raison de ne pas la poursuivre. Laissez-le aller, ne pas commettre à quelque chose que par chaque le moyen a la capacité de me détruire tandis qu'apportez-en même temps moi tellement la joie et l'espoir. Je veux laisser une porte arrière ouverte comme sortie de secours. Je veux faire placer une chute en arrière. Je dois être honnête et de me dire échoue malheureux l'essai d'appliquer cette approche. Je ne veux pas être où je suis, j'étais heureux que s'ajustant sur être par moi, j'aie voulu une certaine heure de pensée, une certaine réflexion et une durée des analyses. J'ai voulu être seul. Je ne suis pas seul cependant et aussi dur que j'essaye je ne peux m'appliquer aucune logique à la situation.

Le résultat est là n'est aucune logique à n'importe lequel de lui. Il y a un livre intitulé « gaffent des abeilles ne peut pas voler », il décrit comment si nous appliquons tout nous savons la physique, pesanteur et la loi de la science une abeille de gaffer ne devrait pas dans toutes les théorie et pratique pouvoir voler. Pourtant comme nous le savons ils volent ainsi par conséquent l'idée que pas tout peut être expliqué tellement facilement comprenant tomber dans « un jardin secret »

Cependant effrayant l'idée du tout ceci peut être, il est bien évident qu'à l'certains exemples vous juste doivent se donner plus de lui. Accordez le moment vous prendre sur un voyage avec l'espoir et la croyance qu'elle peut t'apporter quelque chose de extraordinaire.

Robbie Hellstrom





Have you ever looked into someones eyes? Sure you have. But have you ever been so embellished in someone that when you look into their eyes you see a secret garden beyond. The fascinating thing about seeing whats "beyond" is realizing just how fragile we can be in the face of love. This Blog is primarily targeted at my male reading audience but i think the women might get a kick out of it. In my mind, Springsteen captured it amazingly with the following lyrics;





You've gone a million miles
How far'd you get
To that place where you can't remember
And you can't forget

She'll lead you down a path
There'll be tenderness in the air
She'll let you come just far enough
So you know she's really there
She'll look at you and smile
And her eyes will say
She's got a secret garden
Where everything you want
Where everything you need
Will always stay
A million miles away

Those words symbolize just how deep we can get and how far we can fall into someone given the right situation. What exactly is the right situation? Well here is the kicker, your not going to know until your right in front of her, transfixed, looking into her eyes. Which at that point your going to be one of three things. First, your either already going to be in so deep that your done and any attempt at escape is futile. Second, your going to be so messed up by what your experiencing that your defense mechanisms are in high gear and your looking for a fall back position. Third, your running for your life. Most of us who have been in the situation I am describing can attest to the dreadfulness of being in the second position. The first is relatively simple and it becomes pointless to discuss. The only thing that can happen is whatever time is going to deal you. The third is well,,, pretty descriptive as most of us (males) are pretty good at running..henceforth...yeah. Back to the second. This one is a serious roller coaster of emotions.

When your into someone that deep that you have gotten lost in her "Secret Garden" then i can tell you that the level of fear you will experience might rank up there with having your ass kicked by Mini Mouse in front of a couple of thousand of people at Disney World. It isn't pretty. My opinion about how this effects us varies from age category to age category. With all due respect to my younger readers (I love you guys) when you are in your late teens up to your mid 20's there is allot driving you the least of which is a woman's "Secret Garden" (no and effectively I AM NOT talking about that Garden so get your heads out of the gutter. See i told you at your age you can't think straight). My belief is you have to be at least 26 and older (sometimes much older for those who refuse to grow up) and you have to have had at least 1 relationship which you are able to describe as having been important..and yes important is relative...but if you can say you truly loved someone before, then you are probably in a position to be significantly impacted the day you meet a woman, look into her eyes and see her "Secret Garden".

Now that we have established that. What next? What do you do? Ahhh..did you think i was actually going to dispense advice on this topic. HA! NO! but what i will do is tell you i am living this experience right now and i am scared shitless (yes i said a bad word and yes macho me just admitted I'm afraid of a woman). My fear stems from a variety of areas. First, i did not enjoy a good symbiotic relationship with my Mother (strike one on women). I had two failed relationships (serious ones involving the creation of beautiful children) and yes for the record the thing that ended those relationships was MY lack of integrity and honor to which i plead fully guilty and accept FULL responsibility. I have had one other important relationship in between and was deceived to find out that i was simply being taken advantage of. Which in some ways i deserved given my previous relationship conduct...so good on her for getting a couple of shots in on me. So back to the here and now and the quivering under the bed sheets at the thought of the feelings i have for this woman and the effect she has on me.

I will say that i have never been a big believer in destiny or the famous, "love at first sight". I do know that there is chemistry which happens between two people and that it can often times be volatile, unpredictable and absolutely mesmerizing. I used to think love took time to develop, that yes you can be attracted physically to someone and over time develop a strong love for them. My feeling however twisted, is that most love starts by physical attraction and then grows outwards. In the particular case I'm living i know that there was a strong physical attraction, she is beautiful, but it was immediately replaced by a "total" attraction. It involved intellect, character, awe, fascination, respect, and most importantly something which i cannot explain nor will i try too. The most i can say is that when your in it your in it deep. I am currently trying to tell myself every reason not to pursue it. To let it go, to not commit to something which by every means has the capacity to destroy me while at the same time bring me so much joy and hope. I want to leave a back door open as an escape route. I want to have a fall back position. I must be honest and tell you i am failing miserably trying to apply that approach. I do not want to be where i am, i was happy adjusting to being by myself, i wanted some thinking time, some reflection and analyses time. I wanted to be alone. I am not alone though and as hard as i try i cannot apply any logic to this situation.

The bottom line is there is no logic to any of it. There is a book titled "Bumble Bees Can't Fly", it describes how if we apply everything we know about physics, gravity and the law of science a Bumble Bee should not in all theory and practice be able to fly. Yet as we all know they do fly so hence the idea that not everything can be explained so easily including falling into a "Secret Garden"

However scary the idea of all this may be, it's quite clear that at certain instances you just have to give yourself over to it. Allow the moment to take you on a journey with the hope and the belief that it can bring you something extraordinary.

* GO UNDER DOG GO

What is it about an underdog that gets us so emotional? What makes us stand up and cheer and yell? What is it that moves us inside when we see someone who is not supposed to succeed, succeed. Is it the simple fact that we ourselves are underdogs? Not just you and me but everyone. Could it be that we simply want to share in harmony with someone who is capitalizing on a moment and drawing everyone into their triumph? In my mind it has much to do with how we see ourselves and our own challenges in the face of adversity.

Everyone knows the battered feeling of failure, The idea that we can't win against such terrible odds. Terrible odds you ask? Well life in general, it seems more so then ever that we are against it alone. That we are in an arena filled with onlookers who pass judgment on our performance, our wins and losses, our failures and successes. Currently the queen of underdogs is Susan Boyle. The 47 year old woman from England who has been watched 50 million (yes that was 50 million) times on Youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxPZh4AnWyk. As she walked out on stage the moment was seemingly ripe for a collapse of epic proportion. In a certain sense i think many who were watching in the audience and at home were actually hoping for some type of meltdown or hysterics. What they got instead was pure delight.

That is what got me to thinking about the similarity to everyday life underdogs and the ones who take a national stage. Almost everyone saw only the opportunity for failure from this woman as she arrived on stage. She was dressed so-so, she was not by any means attractive, she had, ''drole'' mannerisms and she spoke kind of funny. All of these things together built a model that from some perspective is one we believe will fail, will not stand out and will certainly not awe us. This simple stereotype is cast every day in every situation, You see it at work, in the stores, in schools, on sport fields and just about anywhere where 3 people can come into contact and 2 of the three can begin stereotyping the third. When Susan Boyle began to sing and the very fist notes escaped her mouth you sensed immediate turn around from the audience. They were dumb founded. The stereotype didn't apply. This woman was special, she was supposed to fail and now look, my God what is she doing, she is an underdog.We feel uplifted, we feel warm inside, we feel tears develope in our eyes, we feel like a part of their success, we want to see them win..win and take it all. We see the true face of triumph, the years of despair that disappear in one moment of pure life, pure emotion. We watch their life change before our eyes and what we see in that moment is we see ourselves...the true us.

So what is it that makes us so immediately change our tune so fast when we actually believe we are witnessing the rise of an underdog. Is it because we truly do want to see people do well, we want to see them win. Is it because we know what it is to lose, to be stereotyped, to be destined and categorized for failure. I think its all of the above but i think it is more. I think it is because we all know that at any given time we can fail and that that failure be it large or small can then be tagged to us and we can become stigmatized by it. Perhaps it is because we know that no matter how much of a winner we might be at any given time, or how successful we are, or how many wins we have under our belt that eventually we could so quickly become the complete opposite. I also believe we root for the underdog from a very basic instinct, the instinct that if it was us we would want everyone to root for us also. That those who thought for sure we would fail would immediately join in the applause for success.

The fundamental problem however is not the whole notion of the underdog. It is the issue of categorizing and stereotyping people to the point where eventually all that negative becomes a self fulfilling prophecy for the person being stereotyped. Sounds weird no? Well actually its a very simple fact. Take a child, tell them they can't, tell them they will never, tell them not good enough, tell them stop trying. Eventually over time you have created a person who will end up being one of those people who we might, just might, eventually see up on a stage and may turn our whole notion of what we know completely on its head.

Go Underdog Go.

* THE LAST OF THEM-LES DERNIERE DE EUX

LE DERNIERE DE EUX

Il fait froid, l'air de nuit est rempli d'humidité lourde qui enduit tout qui le tourne à la boue. La terre ils rampent sur des odeurs sales, odeurs putréfiées. Ils avaient rampé le long pour ce qui semble comme pour toujours lui est son ami, compagnons dans la guerre, lui est son frères dans des bras. Ils croient à quelque chose, dans tout. Là d'autres associés dans la bataille tous sont mort maintenant. Morts à la cause. Morts à la mission. Ils ont combattu dur mais maintenant seulement les deux restent.

Ils continuent à ramper le long silencieusement, les lumières de recherche outre des humvees de approche récurent le paysage, recherche, rebondissement de l'humidité et herbe et saleté comme un flipper. Ils continuent leur avance. Seulement 1/4 kilomètre les sépare de l'eau qu'ils doivent tellement désespérément glisser dans pour disparaître dans la noirceur laissant seulement un petit sillage derrière. Le bateau de secour les attend, mais il attendra pas longtemps. Les projectiles sonnent dehors, un-visé, aucune cible, les frais généraux de grésillement de balles, ils se brisent dans la saleté, ils frappent les objets inanimés et étrangers salissant le paysage.

Les deux frères dans des bras se focalisent, ils travaillent ensemble silencieusement se motivant vers leur but. Une tristesse les saisit par la pensée de leurs amis perdus. Ils peuvent ne faire rien, pourraient n'avoir fait rien. Maintenant la seule manière de rendre l'hommage est de survivre, pour s'échapper, pour retourner pour représenter les mémoires de leurs amis perdus. Seulement 50 mètres à l'eau. Un bas, pointu cri de douleur, il regarde en arrière, son associé, son frère dans des bras n'est plus se déplacer, ne rampant plus. Il tourne de nouveau à lui, pour voir ce qui s'est produit. Il sait déjà. Un des balles a frappé sa marque. Il peut maintenant voir son visage, il voit la grimace, de la douleur, il atteint pour le tirer en avant, pour le traîner le long, à l'essai et pour le faire à l'eau le tirant. Son associé atteint dehors avec une main, la met sur le sien, il le regarde dans l'obscurité mais le voit comme si c'était journée. Son associé '' allez va sens moi, avance '', il répond, '' jamais sans toi '', le retour, '' je suis fait, fini, mais pas toi'' de phase avec cela il voit que ses yeux étroitement et lui regarde son visage et il voit l'épouse il n'a jamais eue, les enfants il ne connaîtra jamais, les amis et la famille qui s'ennuieront de lui. Il atteint autour de son propre cou et retire la croix d'enfance donnée à lui par sa grand-mère et endroits il dans la main morte de son associés son partenaire. Il chuchote '' de frères toujours'' et il rampe avec une dévotion à l'eau, il atteint les banques pendant que les balles et les machines se développent plus étroitement, il touche l'eau et cela ressemble à des roses, cela ressemble à de la soie, il se sent comme la vie, il regarde l'une fois passée et il se laisse tomber dans ses profondeurs de sauveur et disparaît pour être rêne. Prenez-moi la maison !

Pour les frères nous avons perdu, les frères et les sœurs que nous perdons autour du monde journalier de qui la plupart des personnes ne sauront jamais ou entendront parler. Qui se consacrent leurs vies pour quelque chose de plus grand, quelque chose plus importante. Qui rampent dans la saleté dans le profond de la nuit pour créer un meilleur monde. Qui donnent leurs vies de sorte que nous puissions avoir le nôtre. L'anniversaire de leurs décès se produisent chaque jour pour des familles loin et au loin. Sont rarement ces jours tristes identifiés mais aujourd'hui je recongize les.

Nous nous ennuyons de vous. Les héros de l'obscurité. OOOHHA ! '' Paix mes confrères '' vous ne soyez jamais oublié.




THE LAST OF THEM

It is cold, the night air is filled with heavy moisture which coats everything turning it to slime. The ground they crawl on smells dirty, smells rotten. They have been crawling along for what seems like forever they are friends, companions in war, they are brothers in arms. They believe in something, In everything. There other partners in battle are all gone now. Dead to the cause. dead to the mission. They fought hard but now only the two remain.

They continue to crawl along silently, the search lights off the approaching humvees scour the landscape, searching, bouncing of the moisture and grass and dirt like a pinball. They continue their advance. Only 1/4 km separates them from the water they so desperately need to slip into to disappear into the blackness leaving only a small wake behind. The rescue boat waits not far off shore but will not wait forever. Shots ring out, un-aimed, no target, the bullets sizzle over head, they crash into the dirt, they hit inanimate and foreign objects littering the landscape.

The two brothers in arms focus, they work together silently motivating each other towards their goal. A sadness grips them at the thought of their lost friends. They no they can do nothing, could have done nothing. Now the only way to render homage is to survive, to escape, to return to represent the memories of their lost friends. Only 50 meters to the water. A low, sharp cry of pain, he looks back, his partner, his brother in arms is no longer moving, no longer crawling. He turns back to him, to see what has happened. He already knows. One of the unaimed bullets has hit its mark. He now can see his face, he sees the grin of pain, he reaches to pull him forward, to drag him along, to try and make it to the water pulling him. His partner reaches out with a hand, puts it on his, he looks at him in the darkness but sees him as if it was daytime. His partner whispers '' go'', he responds ''never without you'', the comeback, ''I'm done, your not, live'' with that he sees his eyes close and he looks at his face and he sees the wife he never had, the children he will never know, the friends and family who will miss him. He reaches around his own neck and pulls off the childhood cross given to him by his grandmother and places it in his dead partners hand. He whispers ''brothers always'' and he crawls along with a devotion to the water, he reaches the banks as the bullets and the machines grow closer, he touches the water and it feels like roses, it feels like silk, it feels like life, he looks back one last time and he drops into its saviour depths and disappears to be reborn. Take me home!

For the brothers we lost, the brothers and sister we lose around the world every day who most people will never know or hear of. Who dedicate themselves their lives for something bigger, something more important. Who crawl in the dirt in the deep of the night to create a better world. Who give their lives so that we may have ours. The anniversary of their deaths occur each and every day for families far and wide. Rarely are these sad days recognized but today i recongize them.

We miss you. The heroes of the Dark. OOOHHA! ''Peace brothers, always'' never will you be forgotten.

* ONE WAY-DEAD END

We have all driven down them. They are everywhere. Often times with the radio blasting out your favorite tune, the sun shining and the temperature perfect we drive down them. Sometimes we drive down them just to see how far they go, to see where they lead, and to find out what the end looks like. In general they all share two things in common. They end and you have to turn around to get back to where you started from.

Now I'm not talking about your every day run of the mill mistake dead end. We've all been there, made the wrong turn, missed the sign and drove along until we run into the wall at the end. Nothing ventured nothing gained. In most cases your not going that fast by the time you reach it so you have time to break and get ready to make the moves necessary to turn around and make the journey back from whence you came. There are the other type of dead ends which can prove to be much more difficult to navigate and to return from without doing serious damage to yourself,your car and potentially others.

This type of dead end is where the road is new or reworked, unfortunately when this happened someone forgot to move the dead end sign back to the start of the road. The road having undergone some slight modifications or reworking is not really anything more then it originally was except its missing the sign. The sign is now a little ways down the road. As you drive happily along you eventually, sometime unexpectedly come to the sign. As a general rule our instincts DON'T take over and we continue driving although perhaps with a little weariness. As we drive on the road gets a little rougher and we begin to question turning back but the foot stays on the gas with the in-trenched belief that things will smooth out and if they forgot to move the sign to the start of the road perhaps its really not a dead end after all. As the ride continues the road gets even more bumpy and it starts to go down a hill. As you begin to step on the break you realize the car isn't slowing down and the road is getting way harder to navigate and the car is losing control. Now with fear beginning to take hold you start to realize that you should have stopped the car along time ago and turned around...but! As you begin to gain more and more speed you begin to see the road is in fact a dead end and there is a wall quickly approaching...my God what do you do now?

Well my friends this story has perhaps as many ending as it has beginnings. You see nothing is written for sure until the car is smashed into a million pieces at the bottom of the dead end. There are always ways..hopefully to regain control and to stop the car before it hits. The reality is that its not easy, allot goes on between the time you saw the sign and the time you see the dead end wall. Time is invested, adjustments are made, the car is fixed only to break again, we wax and wash it but it always gets dirty again, the tires wear out but we drive with them on just the same, the radio plays the same 3 songs over and over again. We take it to the dealership with the intention of trading it in but always find a reason to not do it. Eventually the car cannot withstand the bumps, the hill nor the speed and disaster looms.

Stepping aside from the disaster requires courage. It requires a rethinking of what kind of car we drive, how fast we go, where is the ultimate destination. Do we like stable reliable cars or fast hard driving out of control cars. Do we want a diesel or gas car. Do you need 4 wheel drive or will 2 do the trick. Luxury or economy? Can we change our minds half journey? All good questions with one major problem. By the time you realize you need to turn around your going to be so far down the road that your going to pay a really, really big price to turn that baby around and find your way back to where you started so that you can potentially find a new road to your destination. Everyone can get trapped going down one of these roads, EVERYONE. They are hard to avoid, they are even tempting. In fact they are easy and thats the trap..they become so easy we lower our defenses and we coast along because its easy...and easy is good...but often not so good..its an oxymoron.

Sometimes unfortunately once at the end of the road the car won't have the strength to go back to where it started even if you managed to avoid smashing into the wall. Many times the car will simply stop at the bottom of the road and the journey is pretty much finished. You simply accept where you are and decide to hang out there for the rest of your driving days as its much easier then the alternative (walking home). At which point your in a situation which is best described as follows.

''Sorry but you can't get there from here'' and hope the hell the walk isn't that far and that someone can find you and comes to pick you up.

* JAMAIS VUE VENIR- NEVER SAW IT COMING

JAMAIS VUE VENIR (ANGLE MORT)

Jamais été frapper dans votre “angle mort” par quelque chose ou quelqu'un, que vous n'avez absolument jamais vu venir ? Jamais été ainsi dans vos faire, le gestion de votre vie, ou à peine gestion de elle ; courir autour avec un certain type de gestion de secours du morcellement journalier et être arrêter complètement dans vos voies. Si ceci est arrivé à toi vous savez de ce que je parle si pas encore une journée vous aller le vivre.

En général “jamais vue venir” peux venir d'une variété d'endroits ; votre travail, votre famille, vos enfants ou vos amis. Ses ces moments de surprise qui vous attrapent le mardi après-midi ensoleillé où vous l'attendre le moins. Parfois ces choses s'avèrent être tristement des tragédies, mais quelques fois, juste parfois elles s'avèrent être quelque chose qui peuvent vraiment changer votre monde. Dans la plupart des cas ces événements peut être la promotion à un travail vous avez voulu mais ne prévoyiez pas, il peuvent être l'un de vos membres de famille annonçant un événement important (nouveaux venir, enclenchement de bébé, etc…). Alors il y a les temps où vous serait frapper dans votre “Angle Mort” par une personne qui va affecter votre vie et vous ne les avez jamais vus venir.

Que se produit quand ceci se produit ? Bien il y à beaucoup à décrire ou expliquer mais ça va envoie quelle commande limitée vous avez dehors la fenêtre. Vous commencez à se poser tout les question qui ont été connue par l'homme. Vous commencez à interroger si ces vraiment sûrs que votre expérience est vraie et vous dépensent répartissent du temps s'indiquant pour se réveiller. Écoutent maintenant mes amis que vous et 15 ou 25 ou 35 ou n'importe quels âges en particulier tu peut être frapper dans votre “angle mort”. Il peut arriver presque à n'importe qui. La différence fondamentale est plus qu'elle et votre âgé moins vous aller avoir tendance de profiter de cette situation. Que est-ce que cela vous signifie demandent ? Puits il signifie ceci.

Pendant que vous vieillissez vous obtenez plus de travers. Vous vous dites que votre sort dans la vie est établi et vous pourriez aussi bien monter dehors le reste du donner l'assaut à jusqu'au jour de jugement. Nous nous coupons de toutes les possibilités et voyons seulement des possibilités comme définies par le passé. Notre passé ! Les erreurs, le succès, les échecs les victoires les pertes. Nous nous tenons dans les analyses de nos vies jusqu'à ce point où nous sommes maintenant et nous nous disons que qu'il n'y a jamais pas plus “je l'a vu” des moments. Cette application de philosophie et d'idéologie nous bloque simplement par le construction de nos propre mur et ça nous permettre pas de tirer profit vraiment des possibilités qui existent toujours. Son peut-être soutenu hors d'un pessimisme de nos échecs ou d'une manière primordiale d'une idée enracinée et instruite que plus de bonnes choses ne peuvent arriver à nous. Dans ces exemples nous choisissons de ne pas profiter ou ne pas suivre notre coeur ou esprit pour la raison simple d'être laissez vers le bas ou déçu.

Maintenant je ne dis pas ces facile de décider quoi faire quand quelqu'un entament votre vie que vous n'avez jamais vu venir. Quelqu'un que vous pensez pourrait vous déplacer des manières que vous avez pensé non possible. Quelqu'un qui pourrait vraiment avoir la capacité de te faire de toi une meilleure personne. Je ne parle pas écrase ou étant frappé, mais quelqu'un qui fait véritablement quelque chose à toi à un niveau émotif et spirituel. Quelqu'un que qui quand vous les regardez vous sentent comme ils ont été absents de votre vie. Maintenant amis que je ne dis pas qu'il y a quelque chose facile au sujet de décider quoi faire à son sujet. En fait je ne suis pas également en train de offrir aucun conseil sur quoi faire. Je dis simplement à toi de ne pas éloigné de lui, ne se coupent pas de toutes les possibilités. Quelques choses sont immobiles, et on besoin d'être intéressant explorer, quelques choses sont immobiles en valeur le risque. Je ne m'inquiète pas comment vieux ou jeunes vous êtes. Je ne m'inquiète pas ce que vous avez fait bien ou mal dans votre vie. Je ne m'inquiète pas ce que vous pensez que vous méritez ou ne méritez pas ou combien de fois vous avez été à la danse. Ont a tout vaincu des moments important, des relation positive et négative. Nous avons tout vue des pancarte " Cul de sac". Peut importe vous ne pouvez pas et ne découvrirez pas à moins que vous lui donniez un essai. À moins que vous et prêt a commettre à lui et pour voir où il vous prend. Récemment j'ai dit a quelqu'un qu'indépendamment de l'inconnu ou des dangers parfois le risque ca peut livrer a nous les plus grands cadeaux. Et cela parfois nous devons jeter dehors la fenêtre les analyses, la réflexion et d'une manière plus importante ce que nous pensons nous savons.

L'énonciation “rien risqué, rien gagné” l'appliquent parfois, une fois, l'appliquent et essayent, vous n'avez tout à gagner et rien à perdre si vous et deja convaincu que rien de bon peut t'arriver.

NEVER SAW IT COMING (BLINDSIDED)

Ever been blindsided by something or someone, you absolutely never saw coming? Ever been so into what your doing, managing your life, or barely managing it; running around with some type of emergency management of the every day grind only to be stopped dead in your tracks. If this has happened to you you know what I'm talking about. If you don't, well some day you will.

As a rule of thumb the "never saw it coming" can come from a variety of places; your job, your family, your children or your friends. Its those surprise moments that catch you on a sunny Tuesday afternoon when your least expecting it. Sometimes these things turn out to be sadly tragedies, but some times, just sometimes, they turn out to be something that can truly change your world. In most cases these type of life altering events can be the promotion to a job you wanted but were not expecting, it can be one of your family members announcing a major event (new baby coming, engagement, etc..). Then there are the times where you get blindsided by a person who comes into your life and you never saw them coming.

What happens when this happens? Well to much to describe or explain but it sends what limited control you have out the window. You begin to ask yourself every question ever known to man. You begin to question if your really sure what your experiencing is real and you spend allot of time telling yourself to wake up. Now listen my friends you don't have to be 15 or 25 or 35 or any age in particular to be blindsided. It can happen to almost anyone. The fundamental difference is the older you are the less likely you are to capitalize on it. What does that mean you ask? Well it means this.

As you get older you get more skewed. You tell yourself your lot in life is established and you just might as well ride out the rest of the storm until judgment day. We close ourselves off from all possibilities and only see possibilities as defined by the past. our past! The mistakes, the success, the failures the wins the losses. We stand in analyses of our lives up to that point where we are now and we tell ourselves that there are no more "I never saw it" moments. This application of philosophy and ideology simply blocks us with a self made wall from truly taking advantage of the possibilities that still exist. Its perhaps born out of a pessimism of our failures or more importantly an ingrained and learned idea that no more good things can happen to us. In these instances we are more likely to not capitalize or to follow our heart or mind for the simple reason of being let down or disappointed.

Now i am not saying its easy to decide what to do when someone enters into your life that you never saw coming. Someone who you think might move you in ways you thought not possible. Someone who might truly have the capacity to make you a better person. I'm not talking about crushes or being smitten, but someone who genuinely does something to you on an emotional and spiritual level. Someone who when you look at them makes you feel like they have been missing from your life. Now friends I am not saying there is anything easy about deciding what to do about it. In fact I'm not even offering any advice on what to do. I am simply saying to you that do not walk away from it, do not close yourself off from all possibilities. Some things are still worth exploring, some things are still worth the risk. I don't care how old or young you are. I don't care what you've done right or wrong in your life. I don't care what you think you deserve or don't deserve or how many times you've been to the dance. Yes i know you have had relationships, good and bad. You have seen the "dead end" signs and gone on just the same. Regardless you can't and won't find out what is possible unless you give it a try. Unless your willing to commit to it and see where it takes you. Recently i told someone that regardless of the unknown or the dangers sometimes the risk we least understand can deliver to us the greatest gifts. And that sometimes we have to throw out the window the analyses, reflection and most importantly what we think we know.

The saying "nothing risked, nothing gained" apply it sometimes, one time, apply it and try, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose if your already skewed.

* L' ESPOIR DU PASSION-THE HOPE OF PASSION

L' ESPOIR DU PASSION

Avec le temps nous tendons à devenir coudés par notre environnement. Nous tirons des leçons de la vie et nous voyons notre monde d'une perspective très limitée et contrainte. Nous avons tous le tendance de devenir négative. Quelques fois cependant nous obtenons une occasion unique d'être montré que tout l'espoir n'est pas perdu et cela souvent notre foi dans jeunes et de vieux de même peut être rallumé. Ce ci est mon expérience avec ''l'espoir du passion''.

Vendredi j'ai eu ce que je considère l'occasion unique et privilégiée de rencontre un personne que je peut constate sans aucune hésitation a redonner naissance a mon espoir dans les personnes du monde. Alors avant que je par avec mon discours sans fin (et oui vous savez que je vais le faire) permettre moi de dire que non, je ne croit pas qu'un seul et unique personne peut nécessairement donner de l'espoir a tout le monde entier. Par contre dans notre monde tout croche, pessimistic, négative ces tout une expérience quand tu rencontre une personne si passionner avec la vie avec une si grand intérêt dans tout les être humaine que ça amener de la lumière dans notre monde gris. Et cette lumière nous permettre un tout petite espoir que notre monde peut être mieux. Cet personne ma impressionner par leur simplicité, leur nature calme, et et une sagesse plus grand que leurs années. Un feu dans leurs yeux qui ont permis un aperçu faible du feu de leur coeur. Tellement rarement nous rencontrons les personnes journalières qui s'inquiètent. Qui s'inquiètent de leur homme de camarade et s'inquiètent de ce que leur implication personnelle est dans l'arrangement de splendeur des choses.

Tellement souvent nous tendons à voir des personnes particulièrement nos jeune personnes comme dis-associer, indifférent avec un singulier moi, moi-même et attitude de soit-mémé. Mais de plus que je parler avec elle le plus impressionner que je venait. Le plus que je le parler le plus que je voulait le parler. Ces impression, ces idée sont logique mais plus important sont passion ma fait croire dans quel que chose que j'avais longtemps perdu confiance, soit l'intelligence. Quand nous somme privilégié de rencontrer un qui est l'opposé polaire de moi, moi-mémé et soit mémé vous ne peut pas être quelque chose d'autre que stupéfié, mais d'une manière primordiale reconnaissant. De parler avec quelqu'un qui se rend compte du monde autour de eux,voit l'obscurité, les temps préoccupés, les échecs que nous avons en tant que société collective mais choisissons la passion et l'espoir et la croyance dans l'humanité au lieu de l'obscurité. Une personne qui se défie à ce qu'elles savent et commet à élargir leurs horizons avec le but singulier d'être une meilleure personne. Jaillissez mes amis ça peuvent déplacer votre coeur aussi bien que votre esprit.

Que prend-il pour être comme cela ? Ayez un sens de l'espoir et de la passion si grands qu'il rapetisse tout désespoir, la monotonie, le mondain et la d'insatisfaction ? Je ne suis pas sûr que je sais la réponse a cette question. Peut-être son les parents de ce jeune qui ont inculqué dans elle un système de valeur qu'aucun tordu, esprit changeant, bombardement interminable de merde de notre environnement ne pourrait changer. Il y a tant de grand espoir dans cela si c'est le cas, car il donne naissance à l'idée que comme parents nous pouvons réellement encore importer. Que nous pouvons réellement créer en notre propre image et nos propres valeurs. Peut-être ce jeune a le temps fini a développé une sagesse au delà de leurs années par l'autodétermination, en croyant à quelque chose mieux puis ce qui est présenté quotidiennement et gavé à nous. Peut-être elle et tout simplement une anomalie, un phénomène de nature. Et ca mes amis seraient une honte.

Peut importe ce que ces le passion de ce jeune nous devons la mettre et la vendre en bouteille, la produire et la pulvériser en série des quantités industrielles partout dans notre monde parce qu'indépendamment d'être jeune ou vieille notre société a besoin désespérément de ces coeur, détermination et d'une manière plus importante passion de jeunes préoccuper avec la vie et son homme de camarade. Cette vraiment une privilège pour moi cette soir qui viens de passer.


THE HOPE OF PASSION

Over time we tend to get bent by our environment. We draw lessons from life and we see our world from a very limited and constrained perspective. Some times however we get a unique opportunity to be shown that all hope is not lost and that often our faith in young and old people alike can be rekindled. This is my experience with the ''Hope Of Passion''.

On Friday i had what i consider the unique and privileged opportunity to meet a person who i can without hesitation say rejuvenated my hope in the people of the world. Now before i go off rambling (which you know I'm going to do anyways) allow me to say that i understand that one person cannot necessarily give everyone hope. However in this skewed, pessimistic, negative world when you meet someone positive, someone with a Passion for life and people; they shine a little bit of light which opens the window to a small glimmer of hope. This person impressed me by their simplicity, their easy nature and a wisdom past their years. A fire in their eyes which allowed a faint glimpse of the fire of their heart. So rarely do we meet every day people who care. Who care about their fellow man and care about what their personal implication is in the grandeur scheme of things.

So often we tend to see people especially our youth as disassociated, uninterested with a singular me, myself and I attitude. As i sat there talking to her i realized the more we talked the more i wanted to hear her. I was gaining back what i had somewhere lost. The confidence that there were truly unique people still left. When your privileged to meet one who is the polar opposite of; me myself and I, you cannot be anything but amazed but more importantly grateful. To talk with someone who is aware of the world around them, sees the darkness, the troubled times, the failures we have as a collective society but chooses Passion and hope and belief in mankind instead of the darkness. A person who challenges themselves to what they know and commits to broadening their horizons with the singular goal of being a better person. Well that my friends can move your heart as well as your mind.

What does it take to be like that? To have a sense of hope and passion so big that it dwarfs all the despair, the monotony, the mundane and the complacency? I'm not sure i know. Perhaps its the parents of this young person who instilled in them a value system that no twisted, mind altering, never ending bombardment of crap from our environment could alter. There is such great hope in that if it is the case, as it gives birth to the idea that as parents we can actually still matter. That we can actually create in our own image and our own values. Perhaps this young person has over time developed a wisdom beyond their years through self determination, through believing in something better then whats presented on a daily basis and force fed to us. Perhaps she is simply an anomaly, a freak of nature. That my friends would be a shame.

Whatever it is that drives this young persons passion we need to bottle it and sell it. Mass produce it and spray it in industrial qualities all over our world because regardless of being young or old our society desperately needs this young persons heart, determination and most importantly passion for Life and her fellow man. It was truly a privilege for me the evening that i just experienced.

* WOMAN, MOTHER, KILLER

Ok I'm not sure i understand what is happening but whatever it is it isn't good. What in Gods name is happening lately with all these women killing children. The unfortunate reality of our world often demonstrates to us the barbarism that men can have towards their wives, girlfriends and children. It has become so frequent that we have become quasi immune to it. However when it is a woman who takes the same savage path as the men; well hang on one second cause there is something really really wrong here.

In the past few months we have had the following; Adele Sorella was accused of the first-degree murders of her eight- and nine-year-old daughters at their home in Laval. In 2006 Louise Desnoyers killed her 8 year old son by drowning him and was recently sentenced to a mental asylum. More recently we have Melissa Huckaby, 28, charged with murdering her daughter's playmate, Sandra Cantu, with the special circumstances of rape with a foreign object, lewd or lascivious conduct with a child under 14 and murder in the course of a kidnapping. Cathie Gauthier, 34, was charged with three counts of first-degree murder (children) and with aiding or inciting her husband to kill himself. I mean for God sakes people what is happening?

Are we shocked beyond belief simply due to the fact that these killers are in fact women and mothers. Is it because as a society we have a bent sense of responsibility and expectations as it relates to women. I certainly don't have that answer and lack serious qualifications to comment from a professional perspective. However in my mind we find it so hard to absorb this kind of violence when it comes from women for a bundle of reasons. First and foremost our impression of women is driven by the ''caregiver'' factor the ''nurturer''. We see women as the shelter to turn to. The rock that holds the family together. We see them as in some ways perfect regardless of how flawed they may be. It is unfair to put them up at a level which is basically unattainable. But one must give credit where credit is due and women have out done themselves forever as it relates to impressing us. Is it because they are the ones who give birth, who carry inside them that child for 9 months. I'm not sure but as ridiculous as it sounds it just seems to far fetched to imagine a woman wanting to harm her own children...or any child for that matter.

Is it a double standard to give more coverage, more importance to deaths of children at the hands of Women and mothers? In my mind equally dramatic coverage should be given anytime a child is killed. Simply to enforce and enlighten society to the grave challenges we face and the responsibility we must bear to ensure we fix the problem. Notwithstanding what i just said it is clear there is a problem. What it is is unclear but we better start to work on it cause we have a problem

If you read a recent American Anthropological Association Study you will read the following; More than 200 women kill their children in the U.S. every year. Andrea Yates who drowned her five kids, and pediatrician Ellen Feinberg, of Champaign, Illinois, who stabbed her two young sons, one fatally, are not unique. Parents killing their children is not rare. Between three and five children are killed by their parents in the U.S. every day. Yet Andrea Yates made headline news. At the same time, a California man lit a barbecue inside his home knowing it would asphyxiate his sleeping children. Why wasn't his case saturated with media coverage in the same way? We have a cultural view of good motherhood and it acts to the detriment of women and fathers who are having substantial problems parenting, says Jill Korbin, child abuse expert who spent a year interviewing mothers in prison for killing their children.

"We end up with a lot of dead kids in this country, yet we persist with the unrealistic view that this is rare behavior. These are not the isolated cases we would like to believe." Homicide is one of the leading causes of death of children under age four.

That certainly puts a point on the issue but doesn't help identify the source. We have to get past the observation mindset and move to the action mindset. I'm not sure where one starts though. Life these days is hectic, frantic, a roller coaster out of control. Women as much as men are affected by this environment. Women still take more of the load in most cases then do the men. As men we have come a certain way yet to some degree our expectation of what a woman is is still out of touch with reality. At the same time women have hurt their own cause as men simply see them as sub-equal. By this i mean, ''sure baby you go to work and bring home a large portion of our revenue and by the way keep doing all those things women are supposed to do''. WHAT? A YEAH mistake and that ideology is costing our society and more importantly our children.

How do we fix it? We better come up with some ideas and fast cause i fear with the ever expanding speed and evolution of our world were going to see more Women, Mother, Killers then any of us wants to admit and any of our children can afford.

* ETRE EFFACÉ -TO BE ERASED

Bonjour mes amie. Voici mon première Blog en français et Anglais. Plusieurs de mes amie mon demander de faire mes Blog en Français et Anglais. Malheureusement je suis pas tout a fait compétant mais j'ai décider de l'essai. Ci il y a des faut je m'excuse et je vais essai de me améliorait. Hello friends this is my first attempt at a French-English blog. Many of my Francophone friends asked me if it was possible to translate some of my blogs into French also. So not really being competent enough to translate it i decided what the hell I'd give it a try so here it is along with my apology for any massacring of the french language.

ETRE EFFACÉ

Avez vous déjà été effacé. Effacé tu demande, ces quoi ça Rob, être effacé? Bien on sait que dans notre vie il y a des gens qui sont plus important que d'autre. Le monde qu'on aime. Plutôt des femme et des homme que ont rencontre et qu'on tombe en amour avec. Ces personne très important reste dans notre vie des fois pour des long dur et des fois pour des courte dur. Peu importe ce qui et claire ces que quand on les aime, ont les aime.

Des fois ces personne ont les aime tout de suite et d`autre fois on apprend a les aimer. Dans chaque des cas ont devient très très attacher a ces personne. Avec le temps ça viens qu'on peut pas imagine vivre sans cet personne dans notre vie. Mais comme tout chose dans la vie le temps changer les chose. Pour une raison ou une autres ont se éloigne et pour une des deux personne l'amour cesse d'être la. Ces toujours a ce moment que ont voie le vrai amour qui exister ou pas. Mais plus important le vrai caractère du personne.

D'être effacé ces quand vous cesse d'être en couple et que tu apercevoir que la personne que tu aimer et ci vite capable de passer a d'autre chose comme ci toi tu n'exister mémé pas. Avec aucune hésitation. Des fois ces juste par le simple action de ne plus te parler, des fois ces par l'action de aller fréquenter quel qu'une d'autre sans mémé laisser le porte fermer en arriéré. D'être effacé ces comme tu na jamais pris aucune place ni importance. J'ai toujours eu peut de compréhension pour cet type de personne. Le type de personne qui va te dire qu'il t'aime, qui va te dire que leur vie serait rien sans toi et peut de temps après cet personne te démontré rien que le contraire. Ces difficile, pas l'effet que ton relation termine, ça comme tout autre chose arrive dans la vie et il faut vivre avec. Mais ces le fait d'être effacé tout simplement comme un crayon sur papier par une personne que tu aimer, ça ces tout autre chose.

La plus difficile facteur a vive avec ces le déception d'avoir aime le personne parce que tu réalise que cette personne na pas de cœur. Qu'il sont pas vrai et qu'il été juste la pour bénéficier du moment et les opportunité que celle ci pourrait les amener. Pour être effacer tu n'a pas besoin d'avoir fait a rien de grave. Ta pas besoin d'avoir fait mal, d'avoir été méchant, rien comme ça. Je veut et claire par contre que si vous avez été méchant, ou abusive ou vous avez manquer de respect tu mérité d'être effacé. Mais ci ces pas le cas il avait rien que tu pouvait faire car ce personne na aucune rapproche a te faire. Ces la personne qu'il sont et tu ne peut rien faire pour changer ça. Souvent ces personne ont passer un bonne partie de leur vie a effacer d'autre personne.

Malheureusement par contre ces vous qui doit géré l'impact d'être effacé. Ces vous qui faut vivre des moment très difficile après pour essayer de comprendre. Le réponse tu les trouverait pas et ces surtout pas le personne qui ta effacé qui va te donner un coupe de main a trouver la réponse. Par défaut il faut tout simplement que tu vie avec cette mal au cœur .

L'important par exemple ces de comprendre que cet type de personne ne mérite aucune larmes. Il mérite seulement ton sympathie car ces personne vont toujours rester ou qu'il sont et vont seulement passer d'une opportunité a l'autre sans jamais trouver ce qu'il cherche. Ces personne vont ce dire tout sorte d'affaire a eu mémé pour justifier leurs action, pour leur faire convaincre que ces les autre qui sont dans tard. Mais comme tout chose le temps elle passe et la vie progresse. Une journée tout le monde faut faire face a ce qu'il sont....eh bien oui peut être pas...mais pour celle de vous qui se sont fait effacer fait vous en pas....chaque crayon a une effacé et tout le monde a une.

Pour celle de vous qui prendre du joie a effacé le monde qui été supposer d'être important dans ta vie mon message et claire...vous fait du mal...du grand mal...et ça tu peut pas effacé.


TO BE ERASED

Have you ever been erased? Erased you say. What do you mean erased Rob? Well as you know in our lives there are people who are more important then others. Generally the people we love being the most important and effectively the women and men we fall in love with. These people turn out to be very very important in the grand picture of our lives. Sometimes these people we love are in our lives for a shot time and some for a long time. Regardless it is clear that when we love them we love them.

In certain cases we fall in love with them right away. In other case we learn to love them over time. In each case we end up becoming very attached to them. Over time it gets to the point where we cannot imagine living our lives with out the other. But unfortunately as we all know to well time moves and with it comes change. For whatever reason we grow apart and distance builds and the love fades. It is at this moment however that we get to see if true love was actually present or not. More importantly it is where we get to see the true character of the person we loved.

To be erased is when we are no longer a couple and you begin to see that the person you loved is easily able to get on with life as if you never even existed. Without any hesitation. Sometimes it is by the simple act of no longer speaking to you. Sometimes its by jumping into another relationship before the door to the one you both had has even closed. To be erased is as if you never existed, as if you never played a significant role or never took up any space in the other persons life. I've never had much sympathy nor patience for this type of person. The type of person who attests there love, who claims they would not be complete without you and shortly there after demonstrates to you the complete opposite. This is difficult, not the fact your relationship is over, because in life that stuff happens and one must live with that. It is the fact that you can be erase like pencil on paper by someone you loved, that my friends is hard.

The hardest part is to live with the sadness of having loved someone who you come to understand didn't love you and who has no heart. That this person was not real and that they were just maximizing an opportunity and benefiting from the upside. Make no mistake, to be erased you didn't have to be a bad person, you didn't have do anything wrong, you didn't have to hurt the other person. I want to be clear however that if you were abusive, excessive or lacked respect then you did indeed deserve to be erased. If that is not the case there was nothing you did nor anything you could do to change the fact you were going to be erased. It is the person they are and nothing you can do could change that fact. In fact allot of time the person has spent a great deal of there life erasing people.

Unfortunately it is you who must deal with the heart ache and sadness of having been erased. They are difficult moments and it is often hard to understand. You won't find any easy answers and the person who erased you certainly will not offer any. The reality is you have to live with the pain.

The most important thing to consider is that the person who erased you does not deserve your tears. They deserve your sympathy as they will most probably go through life erasing people and never finding what they are looking for. They will simply go from one opportunity to another using what they can and what they need. These people will defend their actions, their role and will deny any wrong doing. They will tell themselves whatever they need to get them by. As with all things time will go by and eventually time will come back around. They will eventually have to face themselves. So for those of you who have been erased fear not...everyone has a pencil and almost all pencils have an eraser.

For those of you erasing people and taking pleasure in it one word of note....for those people you were supposed to love and who loved you...you hurt them..a big hurt...and that you cannot erase.

40 AND LOOKING FOR WHAT?

So what do you do when your 40 and single? It seems more and more of us are in that boat. What prepares us for that eventuality? Well in most cases nothing but the reality of it all is quite clear. So if your 40, or close to it, or over it and your single; my comment is, "Good Luck"! I on the other hand being recently single was in a relationship for approximately 16 months with a great woman. We had some off and on periods during those 16 months but as a general rule we had a solid relationship. Eventually however we chose to go our separate ways. I admire her very much and we remain good friends.

So what do you do if your 40 and looking? Well i guess there are a lot of options. You can network through friends, work, clubs you belong too. You can always have a really bad flash back to the 80's and go clubbing....yeah you can be that perverted old guy in a club (that everyone laughs at) standing by himself with a drink grooving to the music surrounded by a bunch of twentysomethings. Or you can be that woman out on the prowl in the local well established cougar clubs (i love those clubs) or you can try what has quickly become the mantra, the Internet online match sites.

A friend of mine (you know who you are man!) suggested i take a foray into the world of online match making sites. HOLY CRAP! Well First of all there is like one Gazillion of them. Secondly there are some really scary people on there. Third you should see some of the pictures these people post of themselves; I'm sure i saw Jennifer Aniston and, Angelina Jolie on there. Fourth, you should read some of the stuff people write about themselves; i never knew there were that many perfect people in the world. These sites some of them with like 500,000 members (Jesus are there that many single people? Why the hell can't i find any in my home town?) have so many different bells and whistles you need an advance degree in PC programming to figure out how to tell people you hate eating liver.

Seriously though i decided that what better way to ensure that people don't respond to your add then by writing a TRUE description of yourself. So i did and here is how it reads;


MY ON LINE MATCH/DATING PROFILE

Hello i am a 1965 Model screw up, heavily over used, body deteriorating at rapid pace, (which means you don't want to go to a nudist beach with me). I have a good memory some days and...what was i saying? I am able to do basic math but don't ask me to pick up more then 5 things at the grocery store. I am twice divorced (well actually not divorced cause i lacked the courage and conviction to ask one of them to marry me). I basically messed up both relationships so the two women left me. I work hard at hardly working, i used to have lots of money but i pissed it all away on a variety of vices (if you get to know me I'll fill you in). I like women who generally just want to engage in physical activities (wink). I'm not at the point of needing any little blue pills yet, but if you want I'm more then willing to pop a few. Anything for a good time! I'm truly not a conversationalist nor a good listener so anything you have to say will be ignored. If the TV is on and your talking your not actually talking, just making noise. I have no clue how a Vacuum, Sink, Washer-dryer, Garbage Can or any other appliance or household amenity works other then the floor. No wait i do know how a dishwasher works....just not where you put those damn little soap pouches. I love working with tools but couldn't fix your car unless of course you want to die. I am not into cuddling after anything so your on your own...perhaps consider buying a hot water bottle. I care about my children, sports and work so you'll have to find a place for yourself on that list, most probably number 9 or 10 after my car and poker night and a few other things. It doesn't mean i won't love you, i just have priorities. I hate flowers so i won't bring you any, I'm off of chocolate (trying to maintain whats left of the deteriorating body) so head down to the local corner store and stock up for yourself. I like candle light dinners as it helps save on electricity costs. I enjoy good food as long as it can be picked up at the drive thru. I generally do not like kissing unless it is going to lead to something more interesting. I usually last about 2 minutes so do your best to maximize your pleasure and enjoyment. So any hot, single ladies out there who want a man of my incredible stature and substance send me an instant message.

P.S. I know i look allot like Brad Pitt in my photo thank you but be aware it was taken like 15 years ago so I've changed a little.

So what do you think friends? Do you think i can land a quality woman with that add? I'm telling you I'm feeling confident. I'm also feeling delusional. Hey if you have any single female friends turn them on to me OK...i could use the help.

AN INCONVENIENT DENIAL

Is there anything that gets you more pissed off then when talking heads start injecting commentary where they have absolutely no business doing so. Such is the case of Jerry Della Femina (yeah that's actually this idiots name). Jerry ''idiot'' Della Femina ( to be known in the rest of this blog as ''IDIOT'') is an advertising executive and you see he decided to pipe up on national television about a subject to which he has neither the qualifications to comment nor the experience to speak from. You see recently Keira Knightly appeared in a Public Service Announcement (PSA) http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/index.php?rn=222561&cl=12801667&ch=224106 (it is graphic in nature so please be aware prior to opening). The add is to raise awareness and to destigmatize domestic abuse.

In his infinite (lack) of wisdom Mr. Idiot (Femina) has decided that the add went to far! Ah... hey asshole, in the US there is estimated to be about 5.3 million women and a reported 1.7 million women in Canada who suffer at the hands of men. People that's 7 MILLION WOMEN BEING ABUSED! A 2005 study by the World Health Organization that assessed 24,000 women in 10 countries found that between 15% and 71% of women had experienced physical or sexual violence, or both, at the hands of their partner. They are abused on a daily basis and are trapped in relationships which can only be described as Hell on earth. So why Mr. Idiot (Femina) is the image of an obsessed boyfriend repeatedly kicking his girlfriend ''going to far''. Is it the realism? The pure brutality of it? The fact that it touches directly on a nerve? That's the point isn't it. Advertising isn't all about Cialis and Viagra and Tide Ultra Clean. Advertising has the ability and might i say responsibility to do more then fix broken erections. It has the opportunity to lift a subject into the forefront of our society. And Mr. Idiot if you believe that domestic abuse doesn't deserve to be in the forefront, then go back and stick your head up some Viagra producing pharmacutical companies marketing Director's ass and knock yourself out.

I for one am going to stand up and say these types of public service announcements are needed. Are they hard to watch? ABSOLUTELY. Certainly not harder then the woman receiving kicks to the stomach somewhere in North America as you read this Blog. Were not supposed to camouflage the problem, bury it or pretend like it doesn't exist. The adds aren't directed at the low life abusers, the add is directed at you and me. Mr. and Mrs. every day people. It is designed to heighten our awareness and potentially help us to identify with this issue and ultimately motivate us to take some action. Whether its writing a letter to your local government representative demanding more money, time and resources be made available to combat this problem; or volunteering your time to help raise money or participate in a local shelter. That's what this add is about and its very unfortunately a necessary evil in today's me, myself and I society. The add is ugly and its tough and it will hit you where you need to be hit. It should make you shake your head in disbelief. It should make you angry and sad. It should push you to action. THAT IS WHAT ITS FOR.

Every man reading this has a Grandmother, mother, sister, daughter, niece, aunt, sister in law, who is a potential victim of this. I have two ex's, 1 sister, 2 step sisters, a step Mother, a bunch of nieces, sister in laws and most importantly 1 Daughter. I am NEVER going to sit on the sidelines in regard to any of these people i love. EVER! I certainly will not allow talking heads to spew their bullshit and walk away without being challenged. Mr. Idiot (Femina) needed to keep this asinine comments to himself. They were uncalled for in the public forum. To anyway diminish, or down play the global epidemic (yeah i said epidemic) of abuse against women is a disservice to society as a whole. In my last relationship my girlfriend had two beautiful daughters. I more then anyone wants everyone who can be exposed to this tragic reality to be made aware. I want them aware because those two little girls and my Beautiful Daughter deserve for us ''the people'' to stand against this barbarism. To take whatever affirmative action we can to ensure that none of our female loved ones ever need to be subjected to that type of violence.

Mr Idiot (Femina) you make me sad to consider you as a male of the species. Your voice on this matter is mute. I wonder what you might say if one of your loved ones was amongst the 7 MILLION women suffering today. I wonder if you would then consider the add ''excessive''. I doubt it. The great thing about TV is the famous phrase ''if you don't like what you see turn it off'' well Mr Idiot (Femina)i and hopefully many others just turned YOU off!

* FOR MICKEY & OLAVI

FOR MICKEY & OLAVI

In our lives there are those who touch us in ways difficult to express. Those who added a whole dynamic to our existence. They are often the people we look to the most to help us in tough times. They are rocks or pillars and they stand the test of time. In the face of adversity, they prosper. In the face of insurmountable odds they win. They are the ones we admire and respect. They earn our love each day by simply being there, simply being "available". This is my homage to two very unique and important individuals who played a very crucial role in my life.

This is for Mickey (Mildred) my Mother in law and for Olavi (John) My father. Both lived big lives, impacted so many people in a positive way. In a twisted, warped turn of faith, Mickey passed away in early January of 2001, 3 months later on April 02, 2001 her very birthday my Father Olavi passed away.

MICKEY (MILDRED)

Mickey was a country girl to her core. She came from a family in the small community of Morin Height. She grew up in a time where going to school in the winter time often meant hooking up the sled to the horses and journing out. She came from humble beginnings and she lived a humble life. She married Owen and for 35 plus years they shared a common bond, a love and a dedication to each other which most of us today could only dream of having. Owen and Mickey ran a small business in the small town. Owen focusing on growing the business and taking care of the every day needs while Mickey tended to her growing family of 5 children. Mickey and Owen adopted 5 children. This unto itself demonstrates the pure heart of these two courageous people. Never straying far from home and with a small hobby farm located behind their local business they raised 5 fine children. Each of them growing into good strong individuals. As in any family it was not always easy or simple. Facing challenging financial times, running a business and raising 5 children this strong, dedicated woman pushed on with her husband and built a business and a place in the community which stands to this day.

I was fortunate to meet Mickey. As a result of meeting and dating her daughter we had a chance to get to know each other. I know she was instrumental in helping to ease the tension between her husband Owen and i. You see at first he was none to happy to have me dating his daughter and i know it strained my relationship with her daughter. knowing this Mickey intervened and set her man straight something along the lines of, '' mister you get your house in order with that young man, you got me''? With that came the start of a relationship which grew into Owen becoming like a second father to me. As my relationship with her daughter continued to grow i was always able to go find Mickey sitting in her regular spot at the end of the coffee counter in their store. I grew to count on her wisdom and her fine sense of viewing the world from a small world perspective.

Mickey was the type of mom everyone wants to have. She was soft when soft was called for and tough as nails if you went the wrong direction with her. She loved her children very deeply and would do anything to ensure their well being and happiness. Messing with one of her children was a very very bad idea. People often sought her out at the end of that coffee counter to discuss their every day challenges and problems. You could often find 3 or 4 stools occupied by local patrons listening or conversing with her. Mickey was also a woman who lived by the adage ''stand by your man'' never have i seen a woman so dedicated, so in love with her husband. There was no messing with him, his name or his reputation. She would have none of it. Many often joked about what exactly her husband did to land such a woman.

As time ran on and my relationship with her daughter flourished and grew into our first child; Mickey was battling debilitating arthritis. This battle eventually forced her out from her favorite spot behind the coffee counter and upstairs in their home above the store. She could often be seen on warm days sitting in the doorway overlooking the yard where years before she had hung laundry and watched her children and local kids playing in the swimming pool. Now all these years later she watched her grandchildren who she adored play in that same yard. Whenever i had a chance i would go and talk with her, it was easy, you see we lived right next door. It was just the way Mickey liked it, her daughter next door with our growing brood of children, the store down stairs, she was still the matriarch. During many of our discussions she always had a way of making me feel good about myself, she always had words of wisdom, she had a quality of courage about her which is hard to explain. I used to call her ''Grandma'' cause there were so many kids always calling after her by that name..it was fitting. Unfortunately her health continued to deteriorate and i and the rest of her family watched as this woman fought a dignified and hard battle against surmounting odds. I was fortunate enough to be with her a few days before she passed away, it was just after the holidays and our family had spent a great deal of time at the house. I think her children knew that the end was approaching though no one wanted to contemplate it.

In January of 2001 she passed away. It is to this day one of the saddest and most defining moments in my life. On that day i lost both a mother in law, a surrogate mother and most importantly a friend. When i spoke at her funeral i remember saying that the greatness of a person should not be measured by what they have or what they make but by what they contribute to the lives of others. Mickey contributed so much, she gave the world 5 outstanding children, a strong and caring husband and a community of supporters who's lives were made better by her presence. In essence her greatness was truly defined by what she contributed back. By having known her.

Mickey, happy birthday ''Grandma'', you were a rock, you were a monument to women everywhere, you were an incredible mother and grandmother. You had a heart of gold and the spirit of a saint but most importantly for me you were ''you'' and that made me a better person. I miss you! I wish you were still here.

OLAVI (JOHN)

My dad was born an only child to Finnish Parents. He grew up in Lasalle and in Maple Grove, Quebec. My Dad spent the better part of his youth in the 50's. A young man who loved cars and women. He complete high school and went on to work at various jobs before finally landing through family connections a job at Air Canada where he worked his entire career before retiring at the ripe old age of 50. In his very early 20's he married my mother and they had 3 children . We lived in Lasalle when i was very young and eventually we moved to Pincourt. When i was close to 12 my parent divorced. It was a blessing. The few years proceeding the divorce had worn everyone down it was a difficult time. After the divorce my dad struggled enormously, mainly financially but not being with his children on a regular basis took a serious toll on him. Eventually as time went on he found himself again and began to work on the ''NEW'' man he wanted to be. I respect my dad so much for this transformation. He eventually met the woman who would end up being the love of his life. Pam a single mother of two beautiful girls worked at Air Canada and they formed a friendship and love so strong that it was only a matter of time before they married.

My Dad loved fishing, he loved getting up early and coming back late. I went along with him every time i could motivate myself out of bed at 4:30am. He loved being out on the water, he had a patience that was unmatched. Every chance he got he went fishing, i think he used it as a kind of therapy. My father loved his parents and took care of them as they got older. His father suffered from dementia (now known more commonly as Alzheimer's) he stood by and visited him every day in the hospital up until his death. Every night we would go and have dinner or check on my grandmother. Before his wedding to Pam the whole family went to visit my grandmother in the hospital as she was to ill to attend. The nurses had dressed her up in her finest clothes and i remember my dad overcome with emotion as his mother hugged him and told him she loved her boy. My Dad had a big heart, he was easily moved. He cared about so much. My Grandmother passed on not long after and it was a difficult time for him.

My father was struck by a minor heart attack in his early 40's. This pushed him to change his diet and give up his 2 pack a day habit (he fell off the wagon more then once) and used to joke that it didn't matter he wasn't living forever. To which my response was, "you think it could be a little more then 40". Irked on by his love Pam and by his true willingness to live he managed to get back in shape and take better control over his life.

I was the best man at my Dad and Pam's wedding. I was never prouder then i was that day to be his son. I was filled with a sense of honor that my dad would ask me to stand beside him. My father had many friends, he was easy to like and people were drawn to him. My father had an assembler quality. He had an ability to bring people together. So to pick me was truly an honor.

When offered a chance to take a retirement package from Air Canada at 50 years old he took it. My Dad loved being a Grandpa, he and Pam eventually purchased their first home in Eastern Ontario and then purchased a second hobby farm where my dad would tend his gardens, his pond and his two Labradors. My dad loved living on that property. Pam and his gardens were legendary. There were always plenty of fresh vegetables and wagon rides for the grandchildren every time we visited. We once stocked his pond with 200 trout and were never actually able to catch one. It was one of those ironic things. I used to enjoy just talking to my dad. Often he would sneak out for a smoke (actually believing that he needed to sneak cause Pam knew nothing about his smoking...he was to funny... everyone knew about his smoking). That was my Dad though he didn't want to upset anyone, he was more interested in how everyone else was then he was about himself. He loved his family, he loved his life. My Dad was simple, not complicated, not deep, nor philosophical. He was a grounded man. He knew when to give me advice and when to say nothing. I found so many answers to questions from him and often he didn't even have to say anything. Many times a simple phone call to him thousands of kilometers away helped me find the right course of action in times of need.

Tragically on April 02, 2001 not more then 3 months after Pam herself retired and 3 months short of his 60th birthday my dad died. No pomp and circumstance, no warning, just gone. It was fitting for the way he lived. So much about caring about others and being everyone's friend so why burden anyone. Just go. His departure left a void in our family, an emptiness. My own moral compass got so messed up after i lost him. I wasn't ready, but then again is anyone? I miss him every day, he was a great dad, a dad who made mistakes and who fought hard to right himself and carry on more valiantly and more dedicated to his family. Not a day goes by Dad that i don't wish you were here, just so i could say a few words to you, see you smile, see you hug one of my children, you were a great man and i could not have asked for a better dad. I love you.