* TAKING FOR GRANTED

Is it just me or is there some reason we as human beings tend to take just about everything for granted? It struck me this weekend just how much i personally take for granted and how when you take a few minutes to reflect you begin to realize just how ungrateful we are and how blind we can be.

My realization came during a walk on Sunday with 3 of my boys. On this walk with my "men" (they are 10 to 14 years old) my eldest son was walking beside me and i looked over at him to say something and i was stopped in my tracks. You see for so long i have been used to looking down towards my son during our discussions. (not down intellectually but physically). You see i measure on the top half of 5 ft 10 inches with my shoes on. My son all 14 years old of him now measures exactly the same as me. Instead of looking down i was looking straight into his eyes. How in the hell did that happen? Standing beside me was a man, handsome and vibrant and a man in every sense of the word. I mean i can remember allot of milestones in his life (first time saying dada and mama, his first crawl, his first steps, first day of school, etc, etc..) but i am sure in the heck not ready for the first "hey Dad your looking kinda short over there" moment. It was with that that i began to recognize all the things i had taken for advantage.

As we walked along and talked i looked over at my other two boys both who will be celebrating birthdays in the next two months, both are healthy and handsome and full of energy and are catching up to their Dad. I have another son who will be 6 in a few days, he is beautiful, and has so much character and he too is growing like a weed. I don't see him nearly enough. At this moment I realized that the one thing we take advantage of so much, is time. We get cast in this role of provider, parent, super person (mom or dad) we get sucked into the vortex of every day life. Running and running and breathing then running and it goes on and on and on. We stop (or get ejected) from the vortex to recognize or appreciate milestones that are pre-programmed into us as parents. The ones i mentioned above. But time marches on without mercy; generally only when we are forced by what is some tragic or major event do we stop-full and take inventory. At that moment it is generally to tragic to allow us to truly reflect on the value of time.

My beautiful daughter (the two of us in the photo together and who by the way is now as tall as me..yeah YIKES!) who is now officially in her late teens fully equipped with her drivers license and about to go off to Europe. She has made me even more appreciate the loss of time and the things we take for granted. No where is it more evident then for a Dad to see his "little girl" grow up. I have these pictures of her when she was 3 and 4 years old. Eyes so big, so bright they could light the night. The saddest part for me was that while she was growing up i was off traveling the continent believing that making money was what was important. That providing and guaranteeing a solid foundation was more important then any "moment" i might miss. All those moments i did take for granted have long since faded into the night. They are not coming back and with them i am left an emptiness so deep and so profound. I should have taken a step (a whole lot of them) back. Unfortunately when we are in the vortex nothing bordering on appreciation is obvious. Its a hard lesson to learn but that is the tragic nature of time; it lets us see it from hindsight not near sight.

During these moments of realization about taking things for granted i am saddened by what i have lost because i always just took for granted that i might in some twisted way cheat time. Get it all back. We build this false sense of confidence that our children will always be small, always be innocent. We take for granted those we love, our husbands, wife's, girlfriends, boyfriends, parents, grandparents. We see them as not so much of value but as givens. Then all of a sudden there gone. In many cases there gone as a result of time. Time ran out for them and it impacts us because we abused it, we took for granted that time never would run out. In other cases we take for granted every single day, every action, every moment, every experience. We write them off as entitlement, we convince ourselves that those people will always be there. We are always wrong! Many leave because we lost our appreciation, our respect and our right. In most cases they left because they got tired of waiting to matter.

I personally have taken way to many things for granted and now in retrospect i realize how time has passed me by. I have pissed away almost everything and everybody who ever meant anything. I lost loves of my life, friends and family. Who do i have to blame for that? Time? Sure that would be an easy excuse, an easy way out. Unfortunately that would be simply a case of self delusion. Most of what i took for granted is gone because of my own actions, my own inaction's, my own selfish belief that anything i could take for granted would be preserved by what turned out to be every ones greatest enemy. TIME! Some people and things i have lost as the natural evolution of time, it ran out. But the things i have lost, the people i have lost because i took them for granted; those are the painful ones. So how does one stop taking things for granted? How do you get back things you might have lost? Well I'm not sure i know the answer to that. I do know that in most cases your not getting them back. That is the ultimate punishment time inflicts on those of us who take it for granted. It embellishes you in everything good it has to offer, every peak, every moment; it affords us so many opportunities and then it's gone.

I have been blessed to have some very good people in my life that i took for granted. They are all gone now. Either moved on by time, impatience or frustration. They are gone just the same. Now as i wonder about how i make sure to not do the same as i watch before my very eyes my boys turn into men; i am frightened by the reality of time and what little control i have over it. So next time your thinking that someone or something will always just be there, take a moment to reflect, and take a moment to appreciate because time is just behind you waiting to pass you by. Leaving you in
the darkness of night with only regrets.

* A USELESS SPIN ON THINGS

THINGS TO DO MORE OF

Time is not our friend it counts us down to some end, never knowing when it is, we can only climb the hill. Here my friends is my contribution to my spin on things in our life. Worth little but perhaps worth something.


GOOD LUCK

Scare yourself every day at least once
Do more of what you hate and less of what you love
Stop and watch a bird fly by
Get up to watch the sun come up
Sit on a porch and watch the sun go down

Stop and watch children play for 5 minutes
You'll find your youth coming back
Never step side ways when you can step forward
Know when to step back
Try and learn something new each day

If you broke it, try and fix it
Know the difference between broken and destroyed
Everything is 50-50
Measure what is worth your time and energy
Blow off what is not
Focus on the positive

You can control about 25% of what's happening
Don't worry about the other 75% because it isn't about you
Understand the difference between false and true danger
Your life might depend on people you might never expect
Their life might just depend on you

When you think you have it figured out, whatever it is will remind you otherwise
When you believe you found love try and recall the 100 other times you did too
When you love someone all logic goes out the window with your heart
When someone steps on you pray they aren't wearing stiletto's
Invest only what your willing to lose, the debt is to high a price to pay

Don't build walls there a pain in the ass to knock down
If your building a wall make it out of concrete.
When falling down try and land on your ass
Your ass, your head and your heart are the same there just at different positions
Don't take advantage of anything, take advantage of everything
One simple moment can last a second or a life time
Make sure if its a life time its worth it.

Actually tell the person you love; you love them
Be a better listener
Say what needs to be said, say only what your willing to own
No one is a machine, NO ONE!
Have more sex! LOTS, its a depreciating commodity
Give everyone a second chance, perhaps even more

If your 40 and still looking for love its because you don't know what it looks like
If your 40 and still bitching about life missing you, stop bitching and start looking
Nothing is perfect, nothing is simple, nothing is easy, everything takes work
Free rides are available on the bus on Christmas day and that's it!
If your going to apply yourself to each other do it equally
A teeter-totter only works if both parties participate

She'll tell you she loves you and she'll lie
He'll tell you he loves you and he'll lie
You will be forgotten in a heart beat
They'll turn the page on you so fast you won't even exist
The book always remains
Be at the ending not the beginning

Most importantly DTA!

* YOU ARE NOTHING BUT ALONE

“We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.”

ORSON WELLS

It struck me the other day, I'm not really sure why. I was riding along in a car heading up to Quebec City with one of my clients and their Communications Director. It was funny as i sat there in the back of the limo looking out the window at the passing landscape i was struck by how alone i felt even as i listened and participated in a conversation with two people sitting no more then a couple of feet away.

I am not completely sure but lately i have had this overwhelming feeling of loneliness. I cannot really say where exactly it stems from. I have always enjoyed my solitude. I also enjoy the company of others. There has never really been any significant periods where i enjoyed more of one or the other. I have a small core group of friends and an average group of acquaintances. I guess if you were to ask me if i prefer being around people or being alone i would probably say alone more often then with people. As a general rule though i would not always want to be alone (stranded on a deserted Island). The funny thing is this feeling of loneliness is not from being alone but from feeling it all the time even when in the company of those i enjoy.

Maybe its normal, maybe some of you get the same feeling from time to time. I am wondering though where it comes from and why lately i am haunted by it. Perhaps it is because i recently had my relationship end with a woman i admired and enjoyed very much. It wasn't an ugly split, no anger, no bitterness. Simply a mutual agreement to move on without each other. We are still friends and i see her rather regularly. Maybe as i get older and i see less and less of my children as "they" get older and start developing their own friendship circles and social life. It could be out of missing them. I am not sure if that is part of it but I'm sure in some way it is. Perhaps its the new project i started almost a month ago. It could be the new people, the new environment, the new challenges. I can't say for sure. Its hard to explain, its like something is missing. The best way i can put it is when you walk into a room in a home and you look around and for no apparent reason your struck by the idea that something is missing. You can stand there for along time trying to put your finger on it but you just can't pinpoint it. It could be due to the fact that my Ex has a new relationship, ah no that's not it!

I knew some day your runnin' would be through
And you'd think back on me and you
And your love would be strong
You'd forget all the bad and think only of all the laughs that we had
And you'd wanna come home
Now it ain't hard feelings or nothin' sugar
That ain't what's got me singing this song
It's just nobody knows baby where love goes
But when it goes it's gone gone

When you're alone you're alone
When you're alone you ain't nothing but alone

Bruce Springsteen

Does loneliness and a sense of something missing go together? Can you be happy and still be lonely? Can you go through life missing something? Always to be looking for what is missing. Is missing simply a state of mind, a belief that there has to be more to it all then what we currently have? Is it missing someone or something? Does it take "someone" to make you complete ( the Jerry McGuire line "you complete me")Does it take "something" to complete us. Like money, or ownership of a home, a car a boat, a physical object. What does it take for you to feel not alone or not missing something? I'm not sure i understand any of this to be honest. Some of these questions are legitimate, some are simply rhetorical. It doesn't help however with the dilemma i now face.

Part of me believes that no matter how much we have and how many "someones" there are in our lives we are still all ultimately alone. When you lay down at night and your thoughts wander to success, happiness, failures, regrets, we are at that moment truly alone with just ourselves. Those images dancing through our minds are uniquely and exclusively ours. We either built them, or had them built for us by others. In the end thought they belong to us. Yes perhaps someone who was in your life or is still in your life and who impacted it is at the very same time contemplating the very same thing you are. It doesn't change the fact that your still alone. In fact in a world driven by a rat race mentality, pushed on by evolving technology we are confronted with loneliness more then we realize. I think in some ways these very same elements which invade our lives on a daily basis are in fact making us more alone. Are taking something away from us, are making us miss something.

When you think about it you start to realize the very lack of human contact. Banking over the Internet, drive through fast food, chat and messenger, automated telephone services, home delivery and shopping over the Internet. All of this and much more has greatly reduced and in some cases eliminated altogether people to people interaction. I'm not saying that any of this has anything to do with my current state of loneliness. Actually i don't think it does. But if your feeling lonely or are missing something perhaps there in lies some answers. It is however a fact of reality in today's society so maybe it does in my case play some small role. More likely though for me its about missing something fundamental, about the true needs we have today to feel part of the story, part of the process. The pages turn so fast that one can often get the feeling that your speed reading with no qualifications to do so. That your only catching glimpses of the pictures which minimize the importance of the actual foundation of the story.

There is also the simple fact that when your with other people everyone seems much more in tuned to themselves then their surroundings. We can talk to someone but never really hear what they are saying. Many times if the conversation is "heavy" we switch it off so as not to be pushed to actually contribute in any way to that person or their challenges. We can be present in a group and feel like a complete outsider simply by the current events in our lives which go unnoticed by those we are close to. We can be alone while being in the company of others without any effort. It is surprising how when something significantly bad happens to someone in our entourage the type of reactions we have. "Man i never knew it was that bad" what happened? I'm flabbergasted". "How come were only finding this out now", "if we had known we would have done something". Those words sound familiar? Sure they do! I personally have said them many times in relationship to my friends. In hindsight when i challenged myself to analyses if i had really been paying attention i often arrived at a pretty negative conclusion of myself. I think that in part explains the feeling of loneliness when we realize that not only have we perhaps not been engaged ourselves but that we have in fact not been listening.

I'm not sure about any of it. The only certainty for me at this very moment is its just me and this keyboard and i'm going to keep on looking for what is missing and try and find the answer to why i feel alone but for the mean time...

"When you're alone you're alone.
When you're alone you ain't nothing but alone.

* LES GLORIEUX, THE DEPARTED and BOY GEORGE

Les Glorieux are for sale, they might soon be departed and Boy George is heading out of town. Board up the windows everyone. Chain down everything that can be used as a projectile in a riot. Move your cars from Ste Catherine's Street to the west island, Shuttle Bus the street walkers to Laval. Shut down all the gas stations, call up the National Guard (wait we don't have a National Guard) ok, ok, call in the Surete de Quebec reinforcements from ST Louis de HA HA (they'll be here in 3 days).Whats going on? THE CANADIENS ARE FOR SALE! Oh my God!

People will be jumping from their office windows in the Place Ville Marie Tower. The girls at WANDA'S are applying for jobs in Fort McMurry. The analysts from RDS, 110% and Anti Chambre are already applying to TSN (Toronto Sports Network). Benoit Brunet is changing in those gay glasses for some contact lenses. Dave Morissette is applying to the WWE (the only job he might actually be qualified for).Michel Bergeron is checking with his Hollywood contacts to see what the chances of landing a part in ''LES BOYS'' Part whatever. Bertrand Raymond is considering going to work for the anti suicide hotline (business will pick up with the sale). Yes Folks its pandemonium in Montreal.

I am always slightly amused, perplexed, frightened, bewildered and down right fascinated when things go horribly wrong with ''Les Glorieux''. Nowhere in the northern hemisphere do people take a sport more seriously (alright there was some place in South America where they killed a soccer player for letting in a goal) but truly no where in the normal world (wait did i just say Montreal was normal).OK hang on, i'm all over the map with this article so far. Well quite fitting with the way the Canadiens have been for the last ?? years. Anyways friends are any of you really surprised to hear that the king of companies is looking to potentially sell his franchise. I mean we are talking about junk bond king Gillette, (Boy George) 1992 Chapter 11 champion. New majority owner of the Liverpool soccer team. The King of Ski hills. Did anyone really think this guy was serious about ''LES CANADIENS''

Oh yes, yes, there will be those of you who will start writing me to tell me all the wonderful things BOY GEORGE has done for hockey in Montreal. What a good businessman he is and how we were fortunate to have him as an owner. Well let me just tell those 4 people (his Kids) right off the bat; don't bother writing i won't publish your comments..i mean geez, common. Ah there i go again i regress. The truth is BOY GEORGE is a business man and any good chapter 11 champion will tell you he knows when to get out of Dodge..ER..Montreal. He sees the writing clearly now; failure, no playoffs and Russian mafia combined to break this camels back. The talking heads that are the quote, unquote gods of hockey in this town just didn't know when to shut the hell up.

To quote Dwayne ''The Rock'' Johnson, ''IT DOESN'T MATTER who you are''. The years have ticked off the scoreboard in this town. History can only hold you over, can only carry you for so long (unless of course your a Maple Leafs fan..in which case your just a sadist). The media here, the talking heads, the ex coaches, ex players have been so delusional for so long that they in some way convinced themselves that THEY were the Franchise. That it was them and not the actual owner who would decide the outcome of this team. OH, make no mistake, over the next few months these talking heads will talk even louder, as loud as they can to make sure that the French Canadian heritage is defended, they will demand french ownership, they will tell everyone how no American, or Englishman can actually appreciate the French suffering, they will BLAH BLAH BLAH us to death with it all. More coverage will be dedicated to this issue then the local poutine competition in Lac St Jean. The talking heads will completely ignore the true ownership history of this club (see my blog ''Canadiens the new Toronto Maple Leafs'' article for a refresher). These media pie-holes will do everything they can to influence the naive band wagon hoppers, the ''historyclingers'' and the sentimental swoons that their team is really their team and that they are rightfully entitled to some type of voice on the future of this team. If it wasn't all so funny it would be funny.

In my mind i would like nothing better then to see this team leave this town (my Dad just rolled over in his grave). Death threats will start to pour in. What i say here i say because it needs to be said, only if to make everyone appreciate what we truly have here. You see friends for way to long we have been lulled into a sense of entitlement. The talking heads have for way to long had many people here actually believing that this team does belong to us. It doesn't! The moments, the history, the accomplishments, the heart breaking lows, the breath stopping highs, those belong to us, but they don't give us ownership they give us memories. There unto itself is part of the biggest problem of this franchise and anyone who might even contemplate purchasing it. With any great success comes an even greater desire for greater success. In the case of the Canadiens history has become their greatest enemy.

Hockey isn't what it was in the 50's, 60's or 70's with expansion came profitability, came big business, came sponsorship and corporate boxes. Came ticket prices that excluded the core supporters of the sport; the father with his children enjoying and passing on the torch of their hero's. With the change came expectations of winning all the time or at the very least giving the impression of winning. The sport took a complete turn from what brought it to its heights. The reason rabid fans of Montreal truly believe they have ownership is because back then those players were part of the landscape, part of the fabric of the city. they were working class hero's on a pedestal so high that they could have shook hands with God. But the players back then understood their role, understood the great responsibility. Today the millionaire's and their agents go from free agency to free agency without the slightest regard for history or tradition. The Canadiens PR department has done a wonderful job over the decades at keeping the luster, the dream, the idea of what this team was supposed to be alive. Without them they would be just another team in just another town. Look at the 100th year celebration, the all star game, the throw back uniforms, the plaza garnished with bricks and statues. Its all about heritage but if anything its more about memories

Over the next few months everyone from the Premier to the Prime minster, to potentially the Pope himself will be forced to pipe in on the subject. Irked on by a rabid media that would not know how to go on if the Canadiens were to ever leave. Now many of you are saying forget it Rob, it will never happen; this team will never be allowed to leave this town. Maybe your right, but you know what? Money talks and bullsh..ah...this team doesn't play. There are simply not that many dollars ready to step forward to inherit this disaster (estimated to be worth approx $415 million including the Bell Centre). The risk is not what it used to be, the luster is not as polished, there are no banners hanging since 1993. This team has more negatives then positives. There is a reason Briere, Lecavalier, Sundin, etc, etc. don't play here. You also best believe that even in this depressed economy there is some business man in some town like Hamilton, Seattle, and believe it or not Winnipeg that would love to have a shot at owning the most storied sports franchise in North America. If i was a rabid fan I'd be checking real estate in some of the above mentioned towns cause the party no matter how enticing, entertaining and downright fun its been for the last 100 years might actually be ending. NA NA NA NA...NA NA NA NA...HEY HEY HEY...GOODBYE.

LOOKING FOR TOMORROW YESTERDAY, ''PASTCLINGING''

The arrival and growth of Social Internet sites such as Facebook, Myspace, Netlog and many others to numerous to mention has created a new phenomenon i like to call ''PASTCLINGING''. What is ''PASTCLINGING'' you might ask? Well it is a new phenomenon which is directly attributed to the sites i mentioned above along with sites like classmates.com, reunion.com, mylife.com and again to many others to mention. These sites have sprung up, some dedicated primarily to social, family and friends networking and some dedicated to finding past friends, teacher and high school sweet hearts. In essence they all have (including Facebook and Myspace) the tools to search for these long lost memories of the past. People everywhere are using them to get back in touch with the past. And when i say in touch i truly mean in many cases, ''in touch''!

I know some particular people who for whatever reason have began to use these tools as a way to find something that is missing. Or perhaps not so much missing but more likely lost. In today's society it has become so easy to believe that we can back up. That we can rewind the tape and potentially erase what we are now and restart at the beginning (everyone's beginning is at a different place in time). In all fairness its not even a going back, its more like a belief that there is something from our past that if we could fast forward it to now would in some way make our lives the way we want them to be. Or potentially lead us on a path similar to the one we were on when we were younger. Connections to our past generally manifest themselves in people and events we lived with those people. Really no different then what we do today in the present. So now with all these tools to go searching for those past people, many are taking advantage to see if there truly is something back there. They are ''PASTCLINGING''

In one particular case i know of a woman who has for the last few months become quasi obsessed with people from her past. Finding old flames, old high school sweethearts and engaging in behaviour that would probably make for an excellent case study at the Medical University. Much of this searching i believe is driven by the belief that answers to today's situations, today's life might be easier to find in someone from the past. That relationships although some as old as 25 years ago might still be the same today as they were back then. That perhaps love doesn't always fade. She has contacted a few old loves in what i consider dangerous behaviour. Now to the point in one case where they are writing letters back and forth with a quote, ''Happily married man'' who is apparently professing his long, ever dying love, 25 years later. Now if you think that this is normal behaviour then you might have already engaged in this process before yourself. But if your like me you find this relatively seedy to say it nicely. I am of the mind set that interfering in someones marriage whether you do it after the car pulls out of the driveway and you knock on the door (not that I'm speaking from experience) or you engage in online ''fooling around'' to me it constitutes a breech of a couples bonds and commitments. (and not proudly i am somewhat of an expert on cheating behaviour).

I recently asked this person if they would mind if the guys wife were to read their exchanges. The answer i got back was cloudy to say the least. But more importantly it was twisted with a, ''well there is nothing wrong with it'' type attitude. UUUMH! yes there is something wrong with it! If your not married and he is and your entertaining anything, THAT'S ANYTHING, in the way of motivating him to believe there is some sort of chance; then you certainly are doing something wrong. What I'm seeing and hearing more of lately is this ''PASTCLINGING''. People have deluded themselves into believing that 20 years of history hasn't changed much of anything, i mean hey i loved them when i was 17 so i can certainly love them again. Its kinda like what we had then we can have again now. AH STOP RIGHT THERE! no way, no chance! Time moves and with it we do to. The person you knew 20 years ago is NOT the same person today. NO WAY NO HOW. Yes they might have traits still similar, they might even look relatively the same, but be sure that they are not the same person.

It struck me that this behaviour is more like a long distance orgy. A Fictitious world you enter by typing in a user name and password and BANG there you are right back in that place 20 years ago. Its a safe feeling to know that who your enticing, flirting or down right cyber sexing is someone who at one point meant something to you. In pure reality though you would be just as well off to log onto a cyber cam site (i know nothing about those sites by the way) and get it on with some complete stranger. Because the person you knew 20 years ago might just as well be a stranger. Yes you can catch up and generally that's where the process starts, as time evolves the discussion turn towards your happiness and your needs and the ''what if's'' in life. The next thing you know your engaged in, ''well if you were here with me now i would be _________________ you''. That's how fast it happens and then your in it. The professions of, ''Oh i have always loved you you were the love of my life...blah blah blah''. And while it might all seem rather Innocent, the reality of all of this is; there are peoples families involved and any encouragement of this behaviour is wrong. No different then waiting in a seedy motel, in a car or after the driveway is empty. It all boils down to the same thing.

The other side of this story is the ''PASTCLINGING'' desire to go see old flames, girlfriends and boyfriends from the past once we have found them on line. If there single and so are you thats fine and it can be a just ''lets see'' attitude about trying it out. Now I'm not saying that its impossible that there could be a reconnection but as a rule of thumb, forget it. No matter how well they look, no matter how kind time has been to them you better be willing to approach it the same way you would if you met someone on an online dating service. Very very carefully. So if your contemplating going back in time to meet an ex then do it with lots of care and keep in mind that this isn't 1985. And don't be disappointed if you end back at the same place you are now.

My message to you ''PASTCLINGERS'' that are already involved in online activities is this. Back away from your keyboard, go look at the calendar...its 2009 not 1985. That person your trying to reconnect with has their life and you know what? You weren't part of it for the last 25 and your not going to be part of it for the next 25. The only thing you might get is a rush of excitement and in allot of cases a bunch of disappointment cause it might feel good now but the 15 minutes is ticking away and you better hope his wife doesn't find the transcripts cause your PASTCLINGING will be over faster then that; and that sure messes up 25 years of history. If your confused about where you stand with what I'm saying challenge yourself to this one simple task. Send everything you have written to each other to that persons husband or wife. If your not willing to your doing something wrong. CLEAR?

* CANADIENS THE NEW TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS

OH BOY! THE TOWN IS COMING UNRAVELED. THE EFFIGIES ARE BEING ERECTED FOR BURNING. CITIZENS ARE DEMANDING ACTION. CITY HALL IS READY TO GET INVOLVED. THE PROVINCIAL GOVERNMENT IS CONVENING A SPECIAL PARLIAMENTARY COMMITTEE. THE PRESS IS DEMANDING HEADS TO ROLL. What might you ask is happening, has the economy gotten that bad, is the health system deteriorated to the point where the government might fall, is the education system finally at the breaking point, is the government going Bankrupt. NO its nothing that minor, it's the Montreal Canadiens in 8th spot and poised to potentially miss the playoffs..my God stop the presses, shut down the town, run...hide your Tiny Tim Horton hockey playing children, lock up the wife...its chaos.

Listen i don't want to say i told you so but I TOLD YOU SO! In this city so preoccupied by its hockey that a guy would rather watch hockey on TV then go to a strip club and have Natasha bent over to show him her "assets", nothing less then success is demanded. But here is where it gets rather comical. We haven't had success in this town for over 16 years...let me repeat that 16 years. Oh yes i know this is the hockey Dynasty, the holy grail, the lost Ark of the National Hockey League. Wait hold the phone. Rush down to the old Forum (the Pepsi Forum...no wonder the ghost are pissed off) get the ghosts bring them to the Bell Center (Beaver Centre in more ways then one..wink) everything will be fine. AH NO!

This town has gotten to be as bad as the wind filled lungs of the conservative tight ass club also known as the Toronto Maple Leafs. Yes i said it! Start sending me the hate mail. But for God sakes people lets take our collective heads out of our asses and start calling a spade a spade and not a shovel. This team has been nothing but a disaster for the longest time. Yes way past the time when we won 2 Stanley cups in 1986 and 1993. For so long the media and the rabid fans have convinced themselves and anyone needing a lift on a band wagon that this team was great. When in fact all actual evidence points to the complete opposite. You have to go back to 1978-79 season to see when the last time the Canadiens were truly the dynasty of old. The team which was so overwhelmingly better then everyone else that they rightly deserved the name dynasty and their true place in sports greatness. Since then 30 years ago (swallow collectively..yes 30 years ago) this team has been nothing more then a team amongst 30 some other teams battling it out with nothing but 2 Stanley cups to show for its efforts.

Every game night and any other night in between on TV we are bombarded with all these talking heads; from ex coaches and players of the Habs, to ex coaches and players of other teams to media types who never laced up their skates in anything other then a minor junior league continuing to feed us all these false expectations. The Montreal Canadiens franchise has become exactly like the Toronto Maple Leafs. It has no heart any more. In a town once dominated by a passion so strong for hockey that it was rumored that if a game was played Sunday morning at 10am the churches would be empty (in a society predominantly 70% catholic). This team that at one time was a team for the people by the people has become nothing more then a hollow shell of corporate America. The goal isn't to win and win only. The goal is to manage it, to maximize it, to play on the traditions of old, to lull us all into a sense of acceptance. The challenge isn't nor has it ever been to fill seats or sell corporate boxes, the history alone of this team has taken care of that. The goal now is simply to make it make sense financially and to manage it no different then any other business.

The Canadiens have become the classic example of over state, over promise, over expect and under deliver. Much of the problem lies in the hands of the media who sell enormous amounts of news paper, TV time and magazines filled with advertising space. Another part of the problem lies with the way the team is structured and the twisted history which French media types try and attach back to the French Canadian heritage. When in fact other then great players like Maurice "Rocket" Richard, Beliveau, Bernie "Boom Boom" Geoffrion, Jacques Plante, Lafleur, (and a bunch i left out) has nothing at all to do with the french Culture. It was originally supposed to be about french players and french ownership but that never really transpired.

Look back to the The Canadiens; they were founded by J. Ambrose O'Brien on December 4, 1909, as a charter member of the National Hockey Association, O'Brien was from Ontario. The team was then sold to George Washington Kendall (aka George Kennedy)a Quebecois of Irish-Scot dependency. On November 3, 1921, his widow sold the Canadiens hockey team for $11,000 to businessmen Joseph Cattarinich (Italian descent), Leo Dandurand and Louis A. Letourneau. Dandurand was the active partner during their tenure (Dandurand was born in Bourbonnais, Illinois. He moved to Canada with his family when he was 16 years old)(Cattarinich was known as "The Silent One" and Létourneau sold his stake in 1930)In 1935 a syndicate of local Montreal businessmen led by Maurice Forget and Ernest Savard stepped forward to buy the club .In 1957, brothers Tom and Hartland Molson, owners of the Molson brewery, purchased the team. The 1950s were by far the most successful decade for the Canadiens, and it is believed by many that the Habs of this era were the best team in NHL history. Between 1950-51 and 1955-56, the Canadiens made the finals every year, winning six times (including a record five straight between 1955-56 and 1959-60). The team's owner, the Molson brewery, decided to refocus on its core business and sell the Canadiens (the Molson Centre was subsequently also put up for sale). After being unable to entice any Canadian investors to make an offer,[27] Molson sold an 80.1% interest in the team and 100% of the Molson Centre to American investor George N. Gillett Jr. As you can see the whole French Canadien ownership is more likely ownership by default of the Fans and not by true French Canadians. In essence a false sense of proprietorship which is more tangible to the great french speaking players then it is to the Club itself.

So here we are today the 20th day of March 2009, Two weeks after the firing of the coach and into a dismal slide out of the playoffs and the talking heads are still talking as if the Dynasty still existed. IT DOESN'T. I remember back to the day when Houle, Tremblay and Cournoyer were named to lead the team. I remember saying that that decision was like putting, goofy, mini and mickey mouse in charge of the Disney Franchise. We've been through 5 coaches in the last 10 years. This team has become a joke. The leading scorer on the team is a defense man. We have two 20 goal scorer, a captain who has done nothing in the way of winning (minus his personal health and injury battles) A bunch of Russian mafia types (that's a play on the media hype that turned out to be nothing involving a few of the Russian players). We have an over hyped, over his head 21 year old goalie. And a bunch of other guys that nobody else in any town outside of Quebec could name.

The sad reality for everyone is nothing is going to change. This team might sneak in by a nose hair into the playoffs. Skate around and make the over hyped over expecting and dreaming fans happy. Get knocked out in the first round and then listen to the front office executives tell us about the optomism for next season. GIVE ME A BREAK. In the end this team is going nowhere near Lord Stanley's hardware anytime soon. So folks tune in to 110%, anti chambre or RDS blowhard analysts and talking heads, pick up the Gazette, the Journal de Montreal, La Presse so they can tell you every reason why the Canadiens can't win but you should keep on dreaming. Listen to the great debate about the next coach and how he has to be a Francophone or be able to speak french even though there are only 5 French players on the team. People get the golf bag out, shine the clubs and watch the silliness. GO LEAFS GO! (yeah there not making the playoffs either).

* THE CLOWN AND THE CONDOMS

PICTURE OF THE HEAD CLOWN AND HIS THREE RING CIRCUS.

Pope says condoms are not the solution to Aids - they make it worse. On his way to his first visit to Africa, Pope Benedict XVI told attendant members of the press that he believes encouraging condom use not only doesn’t help in the fight against AIDS, but actually worsens the situation. In his first public comments on condom use, the pontiff told reporters en route to Cameroon that Aids “is a tragedy that cannot be overcome by money alone, and that cannot be overcome through the distribution of condoms, which even aggravates the problems”. Pope Benedict has previously stressed that the Roman Catholic Church is in the forefront of the battle against Aids. The Vatican encourages sexual abstinence to fight the spread of the disease.

After his election as Pope, Benedict described Aids as a “a cruel epidemic which not only kills but seriously threatens the economic and social stability of the continent”, but reiterated the Vatican ban on the use of condoms.

YOUR JOKING ME RIGHT? NO! I am, nor will I ever, cease to be amazed by the absolute insanity and down right flagrant absurdity of the "Establishment" (church) and its head clown. These people (I use that term loosely) and King BOZO have their heads so far up their asses on this issue that there is no likely hood that the light of day will ever be seen, or more importantly, ever acknowledged. The World Health Organisation responded saying, "These incorrect statements about condoms and HIV are dangerous when we are facing a global pandemic which has already killed more than 20 million people, and currently affects at least 42 million." The WHO said that "consistent and correct" condom use reduces the risk of HIV infection by 90 per cent".

Now who are you going to believe? A bunch of old, celibate (well if you don't count their interest in young boys), way beyond their time, robe wearing, double standard, double talking, beyond the truth assholes. Or are you more likely to believe the people at the World Health Organization; who have decicated people (doctors, nurses, etc) in the battle zone, at ground zero who spend their days experiencing and measuring the pure agony and destruction AIDS has inflicted on these people. Well I for one am going to side with the "WHO". I'm not going to side with them because I have serious issues with the "establishment" over all. I'm going to side with the "WHO" because not only they but just about every other respected organization which has spent any time studying (using true science and factual information) the question of condoms vs. abstinence will tell you outright that condoms go much further in helping not only limit sexually transmitted diseases but significantly impacts unwanted pregnancies. You see my friends here in lies the issue.

Do you think the "Establishment" wants to limit the number of births every year? Especially in predominantly Catholic regions? Do you think the "Establishment" actually cares about sexually transmitted diseases. No what it cares about is birth rates. Pure and simple. That unto itself is disgusting. What is by far more disgusting is the self appreciating, grandstanding, and moral authoritarian nonsense perpetrated by the "Establishment". As they fly in on a private jet that consumes net value of fuel which could feed a 1000 people in this region for a month. They are so far out of touch with this region and its problem that that same jet might as well be headed for the moon. Keep in mind friends that this is the same "Establishment" that for decades turned its back on the young children being abused by its clergy and protected those very same individuals; allowing them to stay in their positions and continue to abuse and assault young children. Just so you know BOZO that makes you and your ''Establishment'' morally bankrupt in my and many others eyes. Your ''Establishment'' is no different then the vultures which prey on innocent people in the Banking industry, Investment and Insurance industry. They are all "establishments" designed to make the rich richer and make the poorer...well...... DEAD!

Having children myself I am sickened by the notion that anything the "Establishment" might say could be in fact interpreted as good common sense by my children. Because it is so far from sense that even a science fiction writer would be embarrassed. I personally want strong dedicated individuals (doctors, nurses, social workers, caregivers, etc) with working experience on the matter, with concrete studies and science to be driving this issue and the solution to it. I want good strong educators promoting all options including abstinence without ruling out the use of Condoms as good common sense against hormone driven teenage desires (or adult ones for that matter). This issue is far to important, no critical not only for our own children (and Adults) but for those abroad who suffer and die needlessly as the "Establishment" and their head Clown continue to promote ideas with no foundations, polices with no results, and beliefs so outlandish that only people sitting under a BIG TOP (or in a church) would be likely to believe.

Hey Head Clown! Give those people some condoms and some of the 150 billion your "Establishment" is rumoured to be worth. Or maybe just take the ridiculous amount of money you pay lawyers to settle your closet pedophilia cases and donate that to "WHO". Then maybe some of us will be less likely to see you as nothing more then a Sunday matinee event. Goddamn Clowns!

* THE SILENT COURAGEOUS

It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes short again and again, who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows achievement and who at the worst if he fails at least fails while daring greatly so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

From a speech given in Paris at the Sorbonne in 1910 by Theodore Roosevelt

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends, of most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.

From; Theodore H. White

Are you courageous? Do you have it in you to face any challenge? To be put in any situation and have the courage to face it. What is courage? Is it internal? Is it external? Where does it come from? Is courage a notion measured by previous acts, by previous doings? Is courage something of a tool by which we measure the value of others? Is it measured by the value man puts on a specific commodity like, life, freedom, family, Country? What defines courage? Is courage the simple act of facing an absolute enemy, an absolute challenge and overcome it? Or is courage simply doing whatever it takes on a daily basis? Regular acts and moments which go un-noticed. Is that not the greatest courage of all? Are courage and heroism the same thing? Wow that's a ton of questions!

Interesting questions. All of us know courageous people, all of us have them in our circle of family and friends. Some are outwardly courageous, some have been recognized for their acts of courage or heroism. But many of our friends and family are courageous and many of us never see it. These people i believe are the the ones we never come to understand. (I'll talk about them later on as the ''silent courageous'') We never come to appreciate what they face. I think courage or the acts of courage are best defined by those not seen by the masses. Those small acts which make someone more then just one of us. They are perhaps moments defined and described in ways so profound that the average non courageous person cannot begin to understand;

When I get home people 'll ask me, "Hey Hoot, why do ya do it man? Why? Just some war junkie?" Ya know what I'll say? I won't say a goddamn word. Why? They won't understand. They won't understand why we do it. They won't understand that it's about the men next to you, and that's it. That's all it is.

Sfc. Norm 'Hoot' Hooten, Black Hawk Down (2001)

When we think of courage we think of it terms of facing measurable adversity. In facing down big enemies. Recall the one man vs. the tank in Tiananmen square, recall the soldier face to face in the Oka crisis, the man who jumps into a raging river to save a toddler he doesn't know. Think about police and fire fighters running up stairs in collapsing world trade centres. All of these moments are defined as courageous acts by brave men and women.They are often captured by the global media and beamed into living rooms everywhere. These courageous acts can be defined in two categories.

1. Courageous Acts by those expected to act
2. Courageous Acts by unknowns with no definitive reason for acting

I have always been fascinated by the number 2's. You see most of us expect that the number 1's are not to do anything less then act courageously. We believe and rightly so in most cases that those individuals of the number 1 category are proscribed to acts of courage, bravery and heroism. For 3 years i served on a volunteer fire department and all of the men (there were no women in the dept at the time)i served with were genuinely predisposed to acts of courage. There wasn't one of them that wouldn't do whatever it took in any situation. You see however that these brave men were already serving in the department because they had a desire to act out in this manner. So i just always expected them to act courageously. On the other hand i have always been impressed with the number 2's. The number 2's raise our hope in mankind every time we are witness to one of their acts. They make us believe that indeed we can face down adversity and enemies so much larger then us. That we can stand in belief of something regardless of the potential consequences. These people are not however those for which i have the greatest admiration. I hold that for those that act courageously in ways we never even see or recognize. They are in essence the ''silent courageous''.

Who are these ''silent courageous''you ask? Well to me they are;

* The mother of 4 who does her best to juggle every day with her job, her children, her house, her finances.
* The mother of 1 who has no help from anyone.
* The woman who regardless of how hard life has been gets up everyday and smiles and pushes on and is positive in the face of insurmountable adversity.
*The woman who is falling asleep at every opportunity because she is exhausted from driving her children from one activity to another with no help.
* The child who struggles each day in a children's hospital somewhere worrying more about the health and the impact of their illness on their family.
* The man who stays committed to his children regardless of what the system throws at him to prevent him from doing the only thing he wants to do ''be a good Dad''.
* The guy who works 18 hours a day at 2 or 3 jobs to bring home a mere $8.50 an hour so that his family can have a decent life
* The doctors in far off lands getting paid nothing to try and make a difference when the whole world is looking in another direction.
* The kid running, or skating, or rowing or swimming long after the lights go out because he or she believes they can be better.
* The person in a wheel chair who gets the looks and the door slammed in their face but continues on with resolve and commitment.
* The men and women who at this very moment are sliding along on their bellies in some far off land where there are no cameras, no media and are doing what needs to be done so that we can have, ''what we have''.

These are just a few of the ''silent courageous''. There are so many more. Think about those you know or those you know about who would deserve to be on the list. More importantly though it is YOU who most importantly needs to recognize your courage; because something your facing, something your dealing with, the day to day grind qualifies you for ''silent courageousness'' and while most will never know, no one will see you on TV or in the newspaper. Unlikely anyone will come and congratulate you but there are those who know. And there are those who want you to know that you are what keeps everyone else going. So when your worn down by it all know more then ever that your courage is indeed greater then you. It is greater then us all. Never give up! Never relent!

* GODLESSNESS, A WORLD WITHOUT FAITH

I was recently reading my friend Tim's Blog. Tim was taking issue with the Catholic Establishment (notice i didn't call it church) and more particularly there seemingly asinine attitude towards everything scientific. What got me to thinking wasn't so much anything Tim said about the ''establishments'' policies, practices (or lack there of) because i agree with him 100% on that issue. What got me to thinking was what he mentioned about Douglas Adam’s treatise on God and faith, which basically states that if God proved his existence, then faith would be destroyed as people would know it is a fact. Since faith is destroyed God ceases to exist as his “power” is derived from the faith people have. Thus, God has proven himself to not exist.. That premise got me to thinking and as most of you know that isn't a very good thing for me to do.

Hence, as the hamsters started to ramp up and the engine started to churn this question started to develop in my mind and it went like this. If we knew (us Humans) that there was truly no God, if we had absolute proof (some say we already have it)that there was no GOD. What would happen? By what would happen i mean, would the world come unravelled at the seams? Would archbishops be jumping from cathedral roofs? Would Jews everywhere feel a sense of relief? Would the Koran quoting extremists become mellow? Would we see a guy who looks allot like the Pope standing on a street corner in Italy with a card board sign reading, ''business closed down, out of work, hungry, please help...GOD BLESS!''. I'm perplexed by the question of what a Godless world might look like, no wait we already know that answer, we live in one. Ok, ok, i regress, but seriously my friend Tim with his Douglas quote has raised a serious question.

It goes something like this. I'm going to call the day after it was proven that no God existed, ''FAITH DAY''. So after ''Faith day'' would everything we value and cherish go out the window, would anarchy rein, would rape, pillaging and plundering become the standard? I'm curious, aren't you? Do you believe that some aspect of our belief system in God helps maintain social order? Its an interesting question no? I mean lets face it there is a large portion of the population who believes in a God (there are to numerous versions to mention here), and a large portion of them are ''GOD FEARING''. God fearing means they generally tow the line out of fear of being BBQ'd in Hell for something like, FOREVER! What would happen to these aimless souls after ''Faith Day''? Another question. What would happen to all the collar, hat, cloak, scarf head, ambassadors of God. More importantly what would happen to all the televangelists. No more importantly then that. What would happen to their overly polished, tit inflated, make up wearing, nympho leather in the back alley parlor wives? My God people it would be anarchy.

According to http://www.usccb.org/comm/backgrounders/caradata.shtml there are 1,114,966,000 Catholics worldwide. The ''establishment'' is worth anywhere from 90 to 150 Billion dollars (its secret you see, its not a publicly traded company, its kind of like Bernie Madoffs trading firm)no true figure is known so it depends on who you talk to. So you can appreciate that ''Faith Day'' might have a slight impact on the net value of the ''Establishment''. So having said this, in your mind who's best interest is it in to never allow or do everything you can to stop ''Faith Day'' from ever happening. All of this still doesn't answer the BIG question though. What would happen to our world the day after ''Faith day''? Do you believe that moral fiber (whats left of it) would disintegrate? Would our moral compass go south? What would hold us in check? Our laws? What would be the frame work for right and wrong. If no God existed, if there was no such thing as good and evil. No hell to burn in. Would the tap be turned wide open to total disintegration of our social structure? It is a perplexing question isn't it?

One arguing on the side of ''normality would rein'' might simply argue that our consciousness, our own derived compass would hold the course. That centuries upon centuries of values would not simply cease to exist just because of ''Faith Day''. They might argue that the values we cherish and apply in our every day life would remain constant, that no matter the lack or existence of a God people everywhere would simply continue to be driven by our pre-established notion of right and wrong, good and Bad. By our system of laws. That nothing would change because the systems in place would remain regardless of what is real and what is not. That the laws however created where what was important, for they are black and white, on paper, relevant, you can touch them. In essence what they would argue is that it doesn't really matter if there was a God because our world and the things we value and stay true to, are in simple fact, irrelevant of God. Strange point to make if your a believer.

I on the other hand am torn about what ''Faith Day'' would mean. I am on the record as saying i am not sure what God is. I don't go to church other then to go to a funeral or a marriage (same thing in essence). I do pray, every time I'm in a bar and looking at the really pretty girl sitting across from me i Pray...''oh God please don't let me get shot down''. Seriously though i do pray..to who I'm not sure but i do it anyways. I do not come from an overly religious family. But i do believe in something. So based on this i ask myself if there was no God would men (and women) be more likely to do just about anything without the ''fear of God''. If i apply it to my own life i ask myself would i have been more or less likely to lie, cheat, steal etc..if there was no God. I did those things anyways knowing, well believing that there was potentially a God. So if there was no God would i be likely to want to do more of the same. Now that i have recognized my mistakes and admitted my wrongs, and am trying to fix them would i be more in tuned to say, ''ah F*7% IT! There is no God so what''. In my case i have to say no. I would be just as likely to continue to be repentant in my wrongs and dedicated to being better regardless of a God.

The question is. What would you do? Would anything change for you? Would your moral compass dive southwards? Would you be lost? Would you drop the notions of what you believe to be right and wrong and start off on a path of destruction? Are the laws which govern us the actual sole parameters by which we conduct ourselves? By which you conduct yourself?. Are our laws based on the foundation of right and wrong on the notion of a God. A good and evil. Or are they simply natural conclusion which we would have reached regardless of the presumed existence of God. Its not an easy question. The 10 commandments are the frame work by which our society is now structured wether you believe in God or Not. Here are just a few; 6. not to commit murder; 7. not to commit adultery; 8. not to commit theft; 9. not to give false evidence; and 10. not to be covetous – do not desire another man's house; do not desire his wife, his slaves, his cattle, his donkeys, or anything else that he owns. So all of them except the donkey part (thats just sick man) do constitute the foundation for which the premise of our morality, our laws, beliefs and most importantly our society is built. Hence the issue of what our society would look like with the knowledge that these commandments were nothing but man made. Would our world change?

I can't answer that question, but one thing is for sure, it sure is interesting isn't it; and wouldn't it be quite the experiment to see what would happen the day after ''Faith day''. Well don't count on that ever happening friends cause the ''establishment'' has about 150 billion riding on it not ever happening.

* NOSTAGIA, BACK TO THE PAST

Why is it we yearn for the past? Why we often find ourselves caught far off, deep in our dreams in a place we once knew, in familiar surroundings...only to be brought back to reality. Do you ever get nostalgic? Find yourself deep in a day dream about the past? No, not the passing or fleeting thought back to your high school days but a deep, entranced longing for the days which in your mind were, ''the best days''.A rewinding to your life ''back then''(whenever that was).

For most people i talk to its generally a longing for the time around their late teens up to their early 20's (although some seem to be yearning for yesterday..as in literally yesterday). It seems to centre mainly around the end of their high school days and the first few years after that. A time for whatever reason that seems to stay frozen, encrusted, filed in a special compartment in our minds. A place we can go to, activate with the flick of a switch, a place where it was simpler, safer, within our control. Are the nostalgic memories of this time in some way a security against the non stop evolution and ticking of the clock? A tool used to defend against the inevitable, against the constant responsibilities we face or a safety net against the never ending complexities of the daily grind. I'm not sure what nostalgia means for you but for me, lately it has meant finding myself back in time trying to figure out how the then became the now. (and as lacking in logic as it sounds was or is there something about back then that i could do to change what is happening now).

For me the period of nostalgia and yearning goes back to cover from my 17th birthday up to my 21st birthday. I believe in more ways conceivable that at that time at that period i was king, king over my domain, it is just delusional but there is nothing wrong with being a legend in your own mind from time to time. Those years i was fortunate, i didn't go on to College right after high school. I took a ''break'' (it lasted a little longer then summer vacation). I remember with a clarity my final year of high school, my first job out of high school and the 4 most entertaining, scary, heart pounding, delirious years of my life. What is it about those times, regardless of which time was your nostalgic period that makes them so vivid, so alive, so easy to recapture? Is it because of the newness, the freedom we had, the lack of knowledge of just how bad it was ''out there''. Was it simply because it was ''our'' time. Does everyone have a ''their'' time? A moment when everything is as it should be or as we believe it is meant to be. Or are those moments defined now, frozen in our minds simply as a result of our current time environment, enhanced and molded to provide us with our own man/woman made fantasy Island. It's a perplexing question but it doesn't negate that regardless of who you are or where you come from you have a nostalgic period and you go back to it regularly.

In my case it doesn't take much to go warping back to those years, sometimes an idea, a present action, some words or a visual will send me tumbling head over my brain back to those days so i can hide from the present. But by far the main catalyst for a time warp back is music. Those years to which i retreat are from 1981 to 1985, they are years in music of the crazy 80's and man those tunes have a way of sucking me down nostalgia lane and not letting go like a kid on a ice cream cone. Its gotten so bad that i now try my best to not listen to any of that music (which proves rather hard as i have over 500, 80's tunes uploaded to my trusty IPOD). Think for one second if you will the means by which we had to listen to music back in those days; radio, vinyl, cassettes, TV (MTV and music videos were just getting off the ground),imagine if we had IPOD'S back then. Anyways i regress, back to the reality of my daydreams of the past.

Today I'm wondering if those desires and yearnings for the past in some way get in the way of my (our) future. I often find myself questioning if not letting go of the ''good'' of the past in some way dooms one to recognize only the ''bad'' of the present. Does fleets of nostalgia impede progress? Are we not always hoping to find some solutions to today's problems from our past? I think naturally the answer is yes, I'm not sure however that any answers are to be found there. My feeling is that the return to those times is more designed as a way to seek solace, a way to avoid or delay what we know we have to deal with. I'm of the mind set that our desire to be nostalgic is more centred in our need to believe that something better once existed, that what we experience now is harder then then. Everyone knows however that our trips back to ''greatville'' never focus on the hardships, the negative or the bad, those memories are left erased, buried, hidden. We only go back to experience the good, but in fairness there was in my case as i know in many others much more good then bad (yes i know not for everyone). That is why its easy to go back there.

So my position is this; keep going back there, keep thinking about the teacher you had a crush on, the first boy or girl you really fell for. Lunches in the cafeteria, the sports teams you played on. The house of your friend you hung out at, your getting drunk way to young, way to often. The first time you kissed someone with a passion. A time when being single was FUN! Your friends, the true friends. The innocents of not knowing what true danger was. Keep going back to remember your favourite song, that special dance ''stairway to heaven'' your hands on him or her, your faces touching, hearing them breath, pushed against them, being so excited you thought you would be sick. Your first car, your first big trip on your own driving in your car going nowhere, the windows down, the radio blasting out your favourite tunes. Your first real job. The first time you knew you were going to be alright. Friday and Saturday nights. The first time you picked up a pay cheque and had nothing to do with it other then spend it (on yourself). Your first apartment, your first special dinner there. Go back to the holidays, the snow storms, the birthdays, the bars, the movies, the music, the food, doing what you wanted just you and your friends.

Relax tonight and go back to that ''past'' the power of it all. A time when you were truly YOU, the place where we believed in something and worked for ''US''. A time we felt in control even if it was only an illusion, only because we didn't know any better. A time where it seemed like anything was possible and it truly was, that no wall, no barrier or NO ONE was going to stop us from getting what we wanted. Go back to those times where we ruled the night, where the world was ours and nothing but nothing laid in the balance. Go back to those ''good'' moments my friends because time is flying and were not getting younger. The present is more complex, less forgiving, filled with trauma, responsibilities and no ways back.... if that's not an incentive then this certainly is; there is plenty of reality waiting for you when you get back....

and my friends if you have problems finding your nostalgia lane, let me know...I'll lend you my IPOD

* POSITIVE ENERGY, THE LAW OF ATTRACTION

So the other night I get into a discussion on how we interact with others and how the energy we give off either attracts or repels things which happen to us. Now my discussion was with a special friend, we have known each other since 1985 so we have some significant history. (We knew each other when we knew very little). She is a person I respect and admire enormously and is in the process of studying hard to become a type of Dr. (no not a Vodoo Dr.). I'll call her Dr.V. (now don't get your perverted minds all in a tissy). Although my mind does got there sometimes in her regard.

Dr.V. feels that each of us either consciously or subconsciously gives off a certain positive or negative energy and that this energy often determines how well or how poorly our lives go. She also believes that that same energy brings to you what you project, simple enough right? You project positive energy you attract positive results, (health, relationships, work, friends etc..) you project negative you get negative results (bad health, bad relationships, bad jobs, bad friends, etc..). That same energy in fact attracts everything that happens to you. Its based on a more modern consensus among New Thought thinkers that the Law of Attraction says people's thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) dictate the reality of their lives, whether or not they're aware of it. Essentially "if you really want something and truly believe it's possible, you'll get it", but putting a lot of attention and thought onto something you don't want means you'll probably get that too''. You following me so far? I'm trying to keep this simple and given my level of intellect that shouldn't be to hard. So if your a positive person giving off positive energy your going to have allot of good things and good people around you, on the other hand if you give off negative energy your going to have allot of bad things happen and bad people around you. Sounds fair no? Dr. V. also believes that if bad things are happening to you or bad people are around you but you consider yourself positive its because your subconsciously giving off negative energy. So that would have to apply to a Negative person who is surrounded by positive people it means their giving off subconscious positive energy. Huummm not sure I follow!

Well thats where I got lost. See I have this theory (almost as big as the big bang theory itself). You ready for it? Its going to change everything. Ok here goes...get ready to be awe struck..to be blown away by this amazing theory. You ready? Your sure? Ok here it is; It DOESN'T make A SINGLE bit of difference what kind of energy you give off or how positive your thoughts are; if your going to get hit by a falling frozen turd, dropped onto your house in Dorval, from a landing 747 from India, its going to happen...it doesn't make a monkey crap (well in this case human crap) of difference if your the most positive or negative person in the world. That piece of crap is still going to come through your roof, land squarely on you, destroying you and that coffee table you made in high school wood working class in 1981; not to mention that sofa from IKEA. Now if Dr. V. was here she would be protesting, defending the 50-50 theory (that theory goes, your only able to control 50% of anything that happens to you at any given time)Dr. V. might say its the other 50% she is talking about and thats the important part.

Well I would agree that their is absolutely nothing wrong with being positive. Nothing wrong with projecting that type of energy to the world and those around you. I mean honestly isn't it much easier then being around someone who is always negative. (unless of course you have one of those overly positive friends who is insatiably positive and goes home every night and sips out of a bottle hidden under the sink) But here again I will offer this. How many totally positive people do you know who have suffered serious issues. Health, family, work, etc.. I mean really positive people you know who have had really bad things happen to them. I know a few myself and I can tell you I often find myself saying these few famous words, ''how come it always happens to the good people and not the rotten ones''. Now being a rotten person myself, I can tell you that bad things certainly do happen to us also...but it occurs to me that no where near the volume as it seems to happen to positive or (good) people. Now again Dr. V. might refer me back to the subconscious energy we project...you know the energy your not even aware of. Well my position is simple. How the heck can you have a subconscious energy when most of us have trouble recognizing the conscious one were supposed to have.

Now if we take this to a purely scientific discussion (which would be impossible for a numb-nut like me) the following would have to apply. In physics, positive energy attract negative energy not vice versa. Two magnets pushed against each other with the same pole will repel not attract. Since many of the claims of the law of positive energy (attraction) appear impossible without violating established scientific principles and our understanding of the universe, it has received criticism from the scientific community. Physicist Ali Alousi, for instance, criticized it as unmeasurable (and therefore unscientific) as well as questioning the likelihood that thoughts can affect anything outside the head. The Associated Press is also quoted as saying that "some medical professionals suggest it could even lead to a blame-the-victim mentality and actually be dangerous to those suffering from serious illness or mental disorders" Many modern proponents say that the Law of Attraction has roots in Quantum Physics.According to proponents of this law, thoughts have an energy which attracts whatever it is the person is thinking of. In order to control this energy to one's advantage, proponents state that people must practice four things:

1. Know what you want.
2. Ask the universe for it.
3. Feel, behave and know as if the object of your desire is on its way.
4. Be open to receive it and let go of (the attachment) the outcome.

Thinking of what one does not have, they say, manifests itself in not having, while if one abides by these principles, and avoids "negative" thoughts, the universe will manifest a person's desires.

Ok so Dr. V. is not out there proposing some far fetched notion. There are some basic scientific support for the notion of Positive energy. However the evidence remains sporadic and the support for the idea garnished at best. I will go on the record and say that positive is much better then negative though...

...however, I have applied all 4 items of the above frequently along with many of thousands of dollars and years to many to count that I'm going to win the Lottery, especially that 50 million last week. But guess what friends...I'm still sitting here writing this poor ass excuse for a blog while at the same time being positive...doesn't that suck...ooopssss....positive, positive, think positive Rob 02,06,14,27,42,43 Geez!

Thanks Dr. V. but I think i'll stay the ever optimistically positive me with the knowledge that I control not even the famous 50%. I did certainly enjoy our discussion though and I'll keep playing the loto just the same.

* MINDLESS MENACE OF VIOLENCE

Parts of a speech given by Robert Kennedy on April 05, 1968 the day after MLK's Death

This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our citizens. It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours. Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by an assassin's bullet. No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason. Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire. Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them. Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul.


Those words spoken with sorrow, with the goal of awakening the spirit of men and women have so solemnly faded into history like tears in the rain. Today not so unlike the Day after April 4 1968 we find ourselves continually faced with the mindless menace of violence. Somewhere between the day of RFK’s speech (05-04-1968) and today some 41 years later not very much has changed. Yes racial tolerance and acceptance has progressed leaps and bounds. A new Black President was inaugurated only 3 weeks ago, yet we remain to this day a society transfixed and strangled by violence. Somewhere between those ideas and his words, the realization that change towards our fellow man was required we continued just the same to push forward an agenda of violence without consciousness, without relent, with an unmeasurable madness.

Today we are ever more bombarded by the images of war, the acts of terror, the unrelenting images of man mad violence and horror on our TV’s and on the silver screen. Yet no where do we see the outcry to stop the insanity, unless of course you speak of the protests against war and the demand for peace. Yet everywhere else the violence continues and we turn our heads and shun any responsibility. The inner cities, our main streets and our towns are overrun by violence related to drugs, gangs, and gratuitous acts. Who is exactly responsible? Is it those who chose war over peace, bullets over dialogue, hatred over love? Or is it simply us. Yes you and me. Your friends, your family, your community.

Should we blame colour, religion, social classes? Is it fair to point the figure towards one group and claim they are to blame. That we know their values are the ones that create the violence. Most of us know that it is not anywhere that simple. The problem and its depths burrough further then anyone wants or is willing to admit…the problem is in every one of us! Not just in us but part of our fabric. Is it fair to believe that when one speaks out against gratuitous violence or war, or hatred, or racism that they are weak? That perhaps they seek censorship, repression of our control of content. That they wish to take out of the hands of the individual the capacity to decide what they watch, what they see. To dictate what they believe in or value. If one values a future for their children and grandchildren and future generations does that make them right wing or left wing, liberal or conservative? Is it possible to not be guided by any religious or political principals? Is it not righteous anymore to speak in defence of ideology if convinced that it is what’s right? That there is something more at stake.

Is it fair to label as cowards those who do not wish to fight, engage in hatred or do not wish to participate in the voyeurism of violence. We have reached a point where denial no longer justifies the excuse of inaction. Information and technology floods our environment 24-7 without relent. We are as our children are bombarded through the internet, TV, movies, music and newspapers with continual violence. We see it everyday, everywhere. Our children see and experience it everyday. We rent and go to see films that add no value what so ever to our existence. We have become immune to its effects, we have become so numb to it all that we fail in many cases to even recognize it in our mists. We watch with an almost pornographic amazement and profound detachment the daily violence which occurs throughout our world. We then write it off to someone else’s problem, to somewhere else in the world. Even when it occurs right in our own back yard we tell ourselves its isolated and a blip, nothing to worry about…a few days or weeks later we repeat to ourselves the same thing to ease any responsibility to act. We tell ourselves and those who speak out that they can just not watch, they can turn it off, they can chose not to see…that is like saying a blind person should ‘’JUST’’ be able to see…it makes absolutely no sense! Because one ignores it does it make it not there? Does it make it any less real? Or have we developed this mechanism as a way to feel safe, to feel like we in some small way still have some control over the outcome.

So you might be asking what are you advocating Rob? What are you suggesting? What are you proposing? Your some kind of peace activist or censor mongrel aren’t you? Well in fact I’m not, actually I believe in war when the cause is just, I believe in fighting for those who cannot, in defending against tyrants who would take and take at the cost of the innocent. In fact I’m not proposing anything. I’m simply stating the obvious. We need to get involved, we need to denounce the violence in whatever form it manifest itself. Wherever it manifest itself. Regardless of if it is violence against women and children, ethnic violence, religious violence or a war without foundation we need to denounce it. To stand up and speak out, to say words. Its as easy as writing something, as saying ‘’NO’’ next time your kids want to watch the newest version of ‘’My Bloody Valentine’’. It’s as easy as writing to your local politician next time some guy gets 2 years less a day, less good behaviour for savagely beating his wife, girlfriend or child. Its as easy as standing up and protesting against un-just wars (there are actually just wars, Afghanistan being an example). Getting involved isn’t difficult, bringing change is another thing all together. But if your not going to start, who is? If it doesn’t matter to you, then who?

So where are we going? Are things going to fix themselves? No but don’t worry its not our problem its someone else’s. It was on April 4, 1968 and it still is 41 years later on February 10, 2009 so our children will inherit our inaction, our tolerance and our complacency…and that my friends is sad.