Why is it we yearn for the past? Why we often find ourselves caught far off, deep in our dreams in a place we once knew, in familiar surroundings...only to be brought back to reality. Do you ever get nostalgic? Find yourself deep in a day dream about the past? No, not the passing or fleeting thought back to your high school days but a deep, entranced longing for the days which in your mind were, ''the best days''.A rewinding to your life ''back then''(whenever that was).
For most people i talk to its generally a longing for the time around their late teens up to their early 20's (although some seem to be yearning for yesterday..as in literally yesterday). It seems to centre mainly around the end of their high school days and the first few years after that. A time for whatever reason that seems to stay frozen, encrusted, filed in a special compartment in our minds. A place we can go to, activate with the flick of a switch, a place where it was simpler, safer, within our control. Are the nostalgic memories of this time in some way a security against the non stop evolution and ticking of the clock? A tool used to defend against the inevitable, against the constant responsibilities we face or a safety net against the never ending complexities of the daily grind. I'm not sure what nostalgia means for you but for me, lately it has meant finding myself back in time trying to figure out how the then became the now. (and as lacking in logic as it sounds was or is there something about back then that i could do to change what is happening now).
For me the period of nostalgia and yearning goes back to cover from my 17th birthday up to my 21st birthday. I believe in more ways conceivable that at that time at that period i was king, king over my domain, it is just delusional but there is nothing wrong with being a legend in your own mind from time to time. Those years i was fortunate, i didn't go on to College right after high school. I took a ''break'' (it lasted a little longer then summer vacation). I remember with a clarity my final year of high school, my first job out of high school and the 4 most entertaining, scary, heart pounding, delirious years of my life. What is it about those times, regardless of which time was your nostalgic period that makes them so vivid, so alive, so easy to recapture? Is it because of the newness, the freedom we had, the lack of knowledge of just how bad it was ''out there''. Was it simply because it was ''our'' time. Does everyone have a ''their'' time? A moment when everything is as it should be or as we believe it is meant to be. Or are those moments defined now, frozen in our minds simply as a result of our current time environment, enhanced and molded to provide us with our own man/woman made fantasy Island. It's a perplexing question but it doesn't negate that regardless of who you are or where you come from you have a nostalgic period and you go back to it regularly.
In my case it doesn't take much to go warping back to those years, sometimes an idea, a present action, some words or a visual will send me tumbling head over my brain back to those days so i can hide from the present. But by far the main catalyst for a time warp back is music. Those years to which i retreat are from 1981 to 1985, they are years in music of the crazy 80's and man those tunes have a way of sucking me down nostalgia lane and not letting go like a kid on a ice cream cone. Its gotten so bad that i now try my best to not listen to any of that music (which proves rather hard as i have over 500, 80's tunes uploaded to my trusty IPOD). Think for one second if you will the means by which we had to listen to music back in those days; radio, vinyl, cassettes, TV (MTV and music videos were just getting off the ground),imagine if we had IPOD'S back then. Anyways i regress, back to the reality of my daydreams of the past.
Today I'm wondering if those desires and yearnings for the past in some way get in the way of my (our) future. I often find myself questioning if not letting go of the ''good'' of the past in some way dooms one to recognize only the ''bad'' of the present. Does fleets of nostalgia impede progress? Are we not always hoping to find some solutions to today's problems from our past? I think naturally the answer is yes, I'm not sure however that any answers are to be found there. My feeling is that the return to those times is more designed as a way to seek solace, a way to avoid or delay what we know we have to deal with. I'm of the mind set that our desire to be nostalgic is more centred in our need to believe that something better once existed, that what we experience now is harder then then. Everyone knows however that our trips back to ''greatville'' never focus on the hardships, the negative or the bad, those memories are left erased, buried, hidden. We only go back to experience the good, but in fairness there was in my case as i know in many others much more good then bad (yes i know not for everyone). That is why its easy to go back there.
So my position is this; keep going back there, keep thinking about the teacher you had a crush on, the first boy or girl you really fell for. Lunches in the cafeteria, the sports teams you played on. The house of your friend you hung out at, your getting drunk way to young, way to often. The first time you kissed someone with a passion. A time when being single was FUN! Your friends, the true friends. The innocents of not knowing what true danger was. Keep going back to remember your favourite song, that special dance ''stairway to heaven'' your hands on him or her, your faces touching, hearing them breath, pushed against them, being so excited you thought you would be sick. Your first car, your first big trip on your own driving in your car going nowhere, the windows down, the radio blasting out your favourite tunes. Your first real job. The first time you knew you were going to be alright. Friday and Saturday nights. The first time you picked up a pay cheque and had nothing to do with it other then spend it (on yourself). Your first apartment, your first special dinner there. Go back to the holidays, the snow storms, the birthdays, the bars, the movies, the music, the food, doing what you wanted just you and your friends.
Relax tonight and go back to that ''past'' the power of it all. A time when you were truly YOU, the place where we believed in something and worked for ''US''. A time we felt in control even if it was only an illusion, only because we didn't know any better. A time where it seemed like anything was possible and it truly was, that no wall, no barrier or NO ONE was going to stop us from getting what we wanted. Go back to those times where we ruled the night, where the world was ours and nothing but nothing laid in the balance. Go back to those ''good'' moments my friends because time is flying and were not getting younger. The present is more complex, less forgiving, filled with trauma, responsibilities and no ways back.... if that's not an incentive then this certainly is; there is plenty of reality waiting for you when you get back....
and my friends if you have problems finding your nostalgia lane, let me know...I'll lend you my IPOD
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