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| REHTAEH PARSONS |
On October 14, 2012 I wrote a Blog titled, '' 73 Sheets''. This Blog was a sad tribute and a reflection of our failures in protecting a young girl named Amanda Todd. This young girl had posted a Youtube video where she described, by using 73 sheets of paper, in front of the camera the hell she had been living. I remember the outrage of the moment. All the talking heads in government, the media, the education system and law enforcement telling anyone who would listen that they understood the challenges of our youth and that they had a plan, or the plan needed improvement or they were on top of the situation, or on and on. Obviously not. On April 4th a young 17 year old girl named Rehtaeh Parsons
committed suicide by hanging herself. It appears that when she was fifteen years old she had been gang raped during a party where she became intoxicated. The rape was only the beginning of the decent into hell for this young girl. You see it seemed the four boys who allegedly raped her felt it was necessary to begin hounding her through the Internet, e-mails and Internet postings. Photos of the alleged incident (a boy smiling while he raped her as she vomited out a window) were circulated around her school, causing her to drop out and change schools in hopes that the bullying would end. It did not. Are you disgusted and sickened yet?
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| REHTAEH PARSONS |
After some investigation by Canada's finest; it seemed there was a lack of evidence to arrest the 4 youths. Yes regardless of the photo evidence, the postings and the fact that she was being intimidated and bullied by these very same individuals it remained an unprosecuted offense. That is until the young woman could no longer stand the abuse she was facing and ended her life. Now the Royal Canadian Mounted Police in Halifax say a person who provided new information is willing to verify who the suspects are and cooperate with investigators. The reopening of the case comes after police were publicly criticized for their handling of the case. Wonderful is it not? This blog though is not about the GRC. Nor the alleged rapists. This Blog is about us. It is about us ( the adults) the same way it was in the Amanda Todd case. It is about our failure as a society to protect our most valued assets. We have increasingly dropped lower and lower in regards to our ability to fix anything which touches our youth. Rehtaeh lived in a world that 95% of today's adults who are over forty years old can not even begin to understand. You can stammer all you like about that statement; but just because you have a facebook page does not make you, ''aware'' or ''hip'' or ''wired in''. Rehtaeh lived in a time where our technology has slowly crawled its was past our humanity. She lived in a time of single parent families, constant bombardment by social media, exposure to an over sexed media, of violent films, TV and video games. All of which twist and glorify every debauchery we can fantasise about. She lived in a time when your mistakes do not end in the basement of a friends house around a game of spin the bottle. She lived in a 24hr media and socially induced orgy of photos, tweets, facebook, texts, instagrams...and on and on.... She lived in a time where the adults are at the mercy of their children. A time where the power of technology is in the hands of our youth and adults just simply hang on for dear life.
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| AMANDA TODD |
You see this in no longer a time where regardless of if you liked it or not your parents were still smarter then you. Our children are now masters of the devices and forms of communication and the parents, educators, politicians, law enforcement, and media simply try to keep up. Those mentioned here have no true way of helping the youth of today. Let alone Rehtaeh. They love to talk a big talk. You will see them in the days to come on your TV, Laptop, tablet or phone; telling anyone who will listen that they are working hard, that they are on top of the situation...blah, blah, blah...and our young people will continue to die needlessly. We have it wrong people. We truly do not know what the solution to the problem is. Bullying and intimidation knows only what we have taught it, yes what we have taught it, society owns bullying. Understand and accept that we have failed to squash it. We have lost compassion for our fellow man (woman). We are to wrapped up in ''us'' to think about anyone else. The first step would be admitting this. The second step is admitting that we really don't have a clue how to fix it. The third step is making a plan using those that might actually be able to lead us to the solution. Our children! For it is in them that the answers dwell. They are the ones we should be listening to, too find out how we the adults can implement measures and stop guards to prevent, or at the very least limit what is happening to them. They hold the key, we just need to get down from our high horses and accept that. Then use it to build them the future they deserve. Weakness is not in empowering those so they can help themselves. It is in being delusional and simply candy coating the problem. We have become experts at that.
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| AUDRIE POTT |
Look at the pictures on my blog of these young girls. Take a look at the happiness, the innocence, the brilliance that has been robbed from our society. Take a look into the eyes of Rehtaeh, Amanda, Audrie and Marjorie. Then imagine your own children, question honestly if you know what goes on in their lives. Amongst your running from one important task to another. Do you really know what they experience? What they are exposed to? Take a look at your own children; girls or
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| AMANDA TODD |
boys, bullying and intimidation knows no race, religion, social class or sex. I have 5 children, we have been blessed to not have any tragedy to date. Do I understand all the challenges my children face? Not even close. In fact I am ashamed because I like many of you struggle every day just to keep up with them. They go so fast, faster then we ever did. When I was 15 I had perhaps 10 really good friends and maybe 50 other people I knew as acquaintances or kids I went to school with. The farthest we communicated and interacted was within telephone reach, the bus or whoever's parent was willing to drive us. That was the size of the circle I lived in. Today our children live in a circle of 600 on line
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| MARJORIE RAYMOND |
friends. Hundreds and hundreds of acquaintances who come to them through a wireless connection from everywhere in the world. People with malicious motivations, predators, and generally bad people. They get access to our kids and we as adults are powerless to stop them. When I was 14 and someone strange was lurking around the neighbourhood every one knew and generally the parents took matters into their own hands, thereby quelling any potential threat. Today we as parent are impotent. We like to believe we still have a ''handle'' on what they do, what they experience. The truth is we don't and in accepting that begins the possibility of fixing it. Just because you have a smart phone does not make you smart.
Today the family and friends of Rehtaeh struggle with their loss. Society lost another opportunity at brilliance. Are they to blame? No. Are we to blame? Like it or not, until we pull our heads out of the sand, we are. There is opportunity in every loss, a chance for redemption, a chance to make right the wrongs. We have to truly want it. The failure to act is to doom ourselves to a never ending cycle of pain and loss. We can take back over the future by helping build a strong foundation for our children. To do this means giving up our sense of power and allowing them to show us how.
Rob
