* FOR MICKEY & OLAVI

FOR MICKEY & OLAVI

In our lives there are those who touch us in ways difficult to express. Those who added a whole dynamic to our existence. They are often the people we look to the most to help us in tough times. They are rocks or pillars and they stand the test of time. In the face of adversity, they prosper. In the face of insurmountable odds they win. They are the ones we admire and respect. They earn our love each day by simply being there, simply being "available". This is my homage to two very unique and important individuals who played a very crucial role in my life.

This is for Mickey (Mildred) my Mother in law and for Olavi (John) My father. Both lived big lives, impacted so many people in a positive way. In a twisted, warped turn of faith, Mickey passed away in early January of 2001, 3 months later on April 02, 2001 her very birthday my Father Olavi passed away.

MICKEY (MILDRED)

Mickey was a country girl to her core. She came from a family in the small community of Morin Height. She grew up in a time where going to school in the winter time often meant hooking up the sled to the horses and journing out. She came from humble beginnings and she lived a humble life. She married Owen and for 35 plus years they shared a common bond, a love and a dedication to each other which most of us today could only dream of having. Owen and Mickey ran a small business in the small town. Owen focusing on growing the business and taking care of the every day needs while Mickey tended to her growing family of 5 children. Mickey and Owen adopted 5 children. This unto itself demonstrates the pure heart of these two courageous people. Never straying far from home and with a small hobby farm located behind their local business they raised 5 fine children. Each of them growing into good strong individuals. As in any family it was not always easy or simple. Facing challenging financial times, running a business and raising 5 children this strong, dedicated woman pushed on with her husband and built a business and a place in the community which stands to this day.

I was fortunate to meet Mickey. As a result of meeting and dating her daughter we had a chance to get to know each other. I know she was instrumental in helping to ease the tension between her husband Owen and i. You see at first he was none to happy to have me dating his daughter and i know it strained my relationship with her daughter. knowing this Mickey intervened and set her man straight something along the lines of, '' mister you get your house in order with that young man, you got me''? With that came the start of a relationship which grew into Owen becoming like a second father to me. As my relationship with her daughter continued to grow i was always able to go find Mickey sitting in her regular spot at the end of the coffee counter in their store. I grew to count on her wisdom and her fine sense of viewing the world from a small world perspective.

Mickey was the type of mom everyone wants to have. She was soft when soft was called for and tough as nails if you went the wrong direction with her. She loved her children very deeply and would do anything to ensure their well being and happiness. Messing with one of her children was a very very bad idea. People often sought her out at the end of that coffee counter to discuss their every day challenges and problems. You could often find 3 or 4 stools occupied by local patrons listening or conversing with her. Mickey was also a woman who lived by the adage ''stand by your man'' never have i seen a woman so dedicated, so in love with her husband. There was no messing with him, his name or his reputation. She would have none of it. Many often joked about what exactly her husband did to land such a woman.

As time ran on and my relationship with her daughter flourished and grew into our first child; Mickey was battling debilitating arthritis. This battle eventually forced her out from her favorite spot behind the coffee counter and upstairs in their home above the store. She could often be seen on warm days sitting in the doorway overlooking the yard where years before she had hung laundry and watched her children and local kids playing in the swimming pool. Now all these years later she watched her grandchildren who she adored play in that same yard. Whenever i had a chance i would go and talk with her, it was easy, you see we lived right next door. It was just the way Mickey liked it, her daughter next door with our growing brood of children, the store down stairs, she was still the matriarch. During many of our discussions she always had a way of making me feel good about myself, she always had words of wisdom, she had a quality of courage about her which is hard to explain. I used to call her ''Grandma'' cause there were so many kids always calling after her by that name..it was fitting. Unfortunately her health continued to deteriorate and i and the rest of her family watched as this woman fought a dignified and hard battle against surmounting odds. I was fortunate enough to be with her a few days before she passed away, it was just after the holidays and our family had spent a great deal of time at the house. I think her children knew that the end was approaching though no one wanted to contemplate it.

In January of 2001 she passed away. It is to this day one of the saddest and most defining moments in my life. On that day i lost both a mother in law, a surrogate mother and most importantly a friend. When i spoke at her funeral i remember saying that the greatness of a person should not be measured by what they have or what they make but by what they contribute to the lives of others. Mickey contributed so much, she gave the world 5 outstanding children, a strong and caring husband and a community of supporters who's lives were made better by her presence. In essence her greatness was truly defined by what she contributed back. By having known her.

Mickey, happy birthday ''Grandma'', you were a rock, you were a monument to women everywhere, you were an incredible mother and grandmother. You had a heart of gold and the spirit of a saint but most importantly for me you were ''you'' and that made me a better person. I miss you! I wish you were still here.

OLAVI (JOHN)

My dad was born an only child to Finnish Parents. He grew up in Lasalle and in Maple Grove, Quebec. My Dad spent the better part of his youth in the 50's. A young man who loved cars and women. He complete high school and went on to work at various jobs before finally landing through family connections a job at Air Canada where he worked his entire career before retiring at the ripe old age of 50. In his very early 20's he married my mother and they had 3 children . We lived in Lasalle when i was very young and eventually we moved to Pincourt. When i was close to 12 my parent divorced. It was a blessing. The few years proceeding the divorce had worn everyone down it was a difficult time. After the divorce my dad struggled enormously, mainly financially but not being with his children on a regular basis took a serious toll on him. Eventually as time went on he found himself again and began to work on the ''NEW'' man he wanted to be. I respect my dad so much for this transformation. He eventually met the woman who would end up being the love of his life. Pam a single mother of two beautiful girls worked at Air Canada and they formed a friendship and love so strong that it was only a matter of time before they married.

My Dad loved fishing, he loved getting up early and coming back late. I went along with him every time i could motivate myself out of bed at 4:30am. He loved being out on the water, he had a patience that was unmatched. Every chance he got he went fishing, i think he used it as a kind of therapy. My father loved his parents and took care of them as they got older. His father suffered from dementia (now known more commonly as Alzheimer's) he stood by and visited him every day in the hospital up until his death. Every night we would go and have dinner or check on my grandmother. Before his wedding to Pam the whole family went to visit my grandmother in the hospital as she was to ill to attend. The nurses had dressed her up in her finest clothes and i remember my dad overcome with emotion as his mother hugged him and told him she loved her boy. My Dad had a big heart, he was easily moved. He cared about so much. My Grandmother passed on not long after and it was a difficult time for him.

My father was struck by a minor heart attack in his early 40's. This pushed him to change his diet and give up his 2 pack a day habit (he fell off the wagon more then once) and used to joke that it didn't matter he wasn't living forever. To which my response was, "you think it could be a little more then 40". Irked on by his love Pam and by his true willingness to live he managed to get back in shape and take better control over his life.

I was the best man at my Dad and Pam's wedding. I was never prouder then i was that day to be his son. I was filled with a sense of honor that my dad would ask me to stand beside him. My father had many friends, he was easy to like and people were drawn to him. My father had an assembler quality. He had an ability to bring people together. So to pick me was truly an honor.

When offered a chance to take a retirement package from Air Canada at 50 years old he took it. My Dad loved being a Grandpa, he and Pam eventually purchased their first home in Eastern Ontario and then purchased a second hobby farm where my dad would tend his gardens, his pond and his two Labradors. My dad loved living on that property. Pam and his gardens were legendary. There were always plenty of fresh vegetables and wagon rides for the grandchildren every time we visited. We once stocked his pond with 200 trout and were never actually able to catch one. It was one of those ironic things. I used to enjoy just talking to my dad. Often he would sneak out for a smoke (actually believing that he needed to sneak cause Pam knew nothing about his smoking...he was to funny... everyone knew about his smoking). That was my Dad though he didn't want to upset anyone, he was more interested in how everyone else was then he was about himself. He loved his family, he loved his life. My Dad was simple, not complicated, not deep, nor philosophical. He was a grounded man. He knew when to give me advice and when to say nothing. I found so many answers to questions from him and often he didn't even have to say anything. Many times a simple phone call to him thousands of kilometers away helped me find the right course of action in times of need.

Tragically on April 02, 2001 not more then 3 months after Pam herself retired and 3 months short of his 60th birthday my dad died. No pomp and circumstance, no warning, just gone. It was fitting for the way he lived. So much about caring about others and being everyone's friend so why burden anyone. Just go. His departure left a void in our family, an emptiness. My own moral compass got so messed up after i lost him. I wasn't ready, but then again is anyone? I miss him every day, he was a great dad, a dad who made mistakes and who fought hard to right himself and carry on more valiantly and more dedicated to his family. Not a day goes by Dad that i don't wish you were here, just so i could say a few words to you, see you smile, see you hug one of my children, you were a great man and i could not have asked for a better dad. I love you.