15 YEARS GONE BY

Dear Dad,

Today is April 2, 2016. It has now been 15 years. They say,``time is supposed to heal us``. That with the passing of sun ups and sun downs, the turning of calendar pages, the passing of Holidays and Birthdays that the yearning and the sorrow will subside. That retrospective, reflection and memories will fill the void of loss. It is not true. Suddenly losing someone you love with no warning only leaves words unspoken, words unwritten and thoughts wanting to be shared in hindsight. Life is fragile, oh so very fragile. The death of a loved one only leaves a hole in the heart and the mind. One can attempt to patch over it with new experiences, new adventures and a renewed life. It is like putting tape over a hole in the garden hose. The hose still works but it is never the same. In the end, when the day comes back each year, the day you passed away; we are left only with the undeniable recognition that the hole is still there and always will be. That all those years have denied us your presence, your knowledge, your love and that no matter how much time marches on it will never march on the same way for us.

For you the journey ended 15 years ago. You were far to young, we were far to young to lose you. For all of us, all of your family who loved you so very much our journey continues. We can only hope that in your final moments you found solace and comfort in the love that surrounded you. That even today you find yourself forever comforted in the love we all still carry for you. For me Dad there is nothing I would not give to have one chance, if only for a few minutes to stand beside you, to fish with you again. A chance to see your smile, to hear your voice. A chance for one fleeting moment to say all the words I want to say to you. The words I would have said had I known you were going to leave. I know it is only a pipe dream, but it is the dream I cling to because in the end, ``time heals nothing`` so it is all I have left. I miss you so very much.

Your son.